Addicted

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I took Colby's hand in mine, feeling like the shittiest person on this Earth, as he looked up meeting my gaze. His eyes were full of confusion, guilt, pain, and even a little anger.

"You said you loved me. I know you do. So why don't you want to live with me?" He asked, his voice going a little hard.

This, of course, got my back up. The attitude that I was trying to hold in, broke it's way through.

"I'm gonna need you to calm the fuck down there buddy. You're not the one that should be angry right now. I am. You literally just broke into MY apartment and stole all of my things, basically forcing me to live with you, without even asking me!" The longer I spoke, the louder I got.

I let his hand go, and put my own back in my lap, glaring at him. His eyes went soft again, and he nodded. Damn it.

"You're right." He dragged his hand through his red streaked hair, and sighed heavily. "I just thought that you would want to be with me all the time, like I do with you."

Oh okay. Make me feel like shit. I took his hand again, lacing my fingers with his and placed them in my lap.

"I do Colby. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and that's hard for me. You know that. You know about my past. I told you about the foster homes and never really having a real home. This apartment is the first place I've had that is mine. Not anyone else's. I don't have to share it with anyone if I don't want to. I can be messy, if I wanna be. And I don't have to worry about someone else junking it up, and me cleaning up behind them. Plus, this," I motioned with my free hand in between him and I. "This is intense. This love that we have is new for me. I've never had anyone love me, really love me, after my parents died, except Katrina. No matter how much I tried to get my foster parents to show me love, they never did. I was just another annoyance that lived under their roof, so that they could get a check. The guy I gave my virginity to, told me he loved me. I thought that he did. Instead, I found him in my dorm room, fucking my roommate. I also thought she loved me, that we were friends. Apparently not. So you see, this is new for me too, and it still scares me." I knew that I was rambling but I needed him to understand. "I want to be with you all the time, I do. But I want the option to not be with you. If I live here, this isn't mine. This belongs to everyone that lives here. If something happens between you and I, what would I do? Like our fight, I was able to go home. If I live here, I won't have anywhere to go. Especially if you get mad enough and kick me out."

I grinned at him a little.

He shook his head earnestly.

"I would never do that."

I wanted to cry with the look of absolute conviction in his eyes.

I let go of his hand and placed it on his cheek.

"I love you. I just NEED my own place right now. I've only had it a few months and I'm not ready to give it up just yet. Can you understand that?"

He placed his hand over mine on his cheek, and held my gaze. "Yeah...but there's also another reason that I did this."

I sighed. "Of course there is. I take it the meeting didn't go as well as you hoped it would?" I dropped my hand and sat back, rubbing Prissy.

He shook his head.

"No, it didn't. Nothing is decided yet, but Millie is still a threat and now possibly the entire Rogue clan. Aza seems to have taken a liking to her, for some reason."

The scowl on his perfect face was so fucking cute.

Why am I thinking things like that when he's basically telling me that everyone is now trying to kill me, and not just his jealous ex? There is something seriously wrong with me.

"So you basically wanted me to live with you so that it would be easier to keep an eye on me? How romantic." I replied dryly.

He shook his head.

"No, I wanted you to live with me, because I couldn't wait to get back home to you. Because I finally thought of this place as home, simply because I knew you would be waiting for me. I want you to live with me, because I don't ever want to live without you."

There he goes again, fucking my heart up. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Damn it Colby, how am I supposed to say no after that?!" I exclaimed, slapping him in the shoulder.

He looked surprised by my outburst, but a small smile crept up to his lips.

"So you'll live with me?" He asked timidly.

I still shook my head.

"No..." His face fell. "But I will stay here for now, until we can make sure that I'm not going to be killed the second that your face is turned. I'm keeping my apartment though and we will need to go back and make sure that everything is okay over there sometimes, and pay my rent. Fuck, I need another job."

He grinned again, his dimples popping.

I always had the urge to poke them when they did that.

"So you're gonna live with me then? That's a yes?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I'm going to stay here FOR NOW. I don't live here."

Next thing I knew, he's at his open bedroom door, yelling. "Hey Sam, Chloe lives here now. Told you!"

I heard cheers coming from downstairs and rolled my eyes.

Fucking Christ, private conversations were never going to be possible in this house.

"I heard Brother, Kat is staying too!"

Colby shut the door, pushing Prissy back with his foot.

She wanted to explore the house, it seemed.

"Wait, Kat is staying here too?"

Colby laughed. "Yeah, we grabbed her stuff too. It's in Sam's room. He didn't set up the bathroom yet, because I wanted to show you first, but he probably will now."

I pursed my lips, scrunching my face up a bit. "You guys are just used to getting what you want, huh?"