Hold On Soldier ✔️ | marvel

91. New Asgard

Waking up I could feel the shell begin to grow thicker and thicker as a second skin. 5 years of waking up to a dark room and I've never felt any different from before. From outsiders perspective maybe I looked pathetic or maybe I looked as if the emotional rollercoaster had merely done its purpose and wrecked me understandably. Only the kindest of people could see through my wall. Sheltering the emotions inside to bare and ruffle within. It didn't effect my state of mind. It locked away deep so I could function accordingly. I would be perceived as I once was at the very beginning, an angry bitch. But now I would be as cold as glaciers, behavior of a deep dark ocean and wholly a motionless wind. With this new body I was able to settle the nausea, return my hydration and eat once again. The nightmares were tucked neatly in the cocoon I made out of pure panic 5 years past. I remember it barely. But I moved easier once I had cured the grieving. Lifting my corpse temperature body up I realized it was time to go forward with my routine. Eat, clean myself, study, and visit Thor. I indeed found myself at the shores of New Asgard 5 years prior. Valkyrie brought me in with open arms even while weighing the whole kingdom on her shoulders. After getting ready I dressed to visit them as I had daily. Valkyrie and I watching as Thor grew a larger gut from the guilt. Liquor huffed from his mouth as he opened his door wide for me. His kindness of a golden retriever dulled and the courage of a lion plummeted through the years. I watched him simply walk away for me to shut the door. Often Thor would just leave the door unlocked on days he was too drunk to care, but if the guilt flowed that day he would lock it from urgent fear. The fear of Thanos taking more than just the friends we lost already. I didn't wince at the thought as I sat beside Miek and Korg. I grew dull of the video games eventually right as Valkyrie stopped by to deliver more alcohol for Thor.

"Have you moved seats since the last time I saw you all? What a surprise." Sarcasm leaked from Valkyrie as she slammed a barrel before Thor.

"No. We have assigned seats." Thor joked with a drunken nod of his head, I didn't so much as smile at him.

"You have a visitor though, that's different." Valkyrie gestured toward me kindly.

I shook my head, "I'm barely a guest. I come here as often as Miek and Korg."

"We actually live here." Korg began, "Or well... he likes our company so much we sleep on this couch like we own it. Miek and I play games with Thor till we all pass out. Our assigned seats are only assigned because we don't move from them. But to argue with that we do move on them because realistically we couldn't not move."

"Good to know. I hope when you realistically move you wash away the reeking odors you all unleash." Valkyrie didn't smile as she told and thudded her boots toward me.

"You can't get through to them." I simply reply.

"Ah but I do with you." She shrugged, "Most of the time."

She sat on the edge of the couch to my left, "it's rude not to listen."

"At least that has remained." Valkyrie barely dug at me. I didn't show any offense at it, her effort was understandable as was the liquor coursing through Thor. After a few moments of distant thought I found myself spacing out. I wondered how Tony was. I hadn't seen him since he yelled at Steve about it being his fault. They had fount years before and never spoke since then either. Remembering Steve, I could only visualize his bright blue eyes that reflected the summer skies. A long time ago the avengers and I joked in the pool and laughed at bars. Happier times even after New York. I felt hollowing and I blinked to return back to earth. Valkyrie was snapping in front of my face to get me to return. Thor suddenly leaped from his chair and stormed up to her in anger. Drunken rage pulled his strings as he grabbed Valkyries wrist.

My ears rang at his roar, "Do not snap. Not at her."

"What's with you? Let go!" Valkyrie didn't flinch at his touch, but grew irritated nonetheless. I ignored their bickering and forced myself to space again. The mighty lion beside me at the hotel pool, the teasing of Natasha as we escaped the mall from hydra, and Wanda using her power to send me a vision...

"I'm leaving." I told rising from my seat, the thought of Wanda pushing me past Thor and Valkyrie. I divided them and ended their argument that had went on since the last time I paid attention. I walked home slowly, at peace with the swishing water on the coast. The ice shell concealing my body whispered to me that it would seal Wanda within and if I requested it would seal the rest of the avengers inside too. My powers promised it wouldn't slip again and I didn't wince. I wasn't effected anyway.

"Izzy." I heard from behind me. I turned to the call like a puppet in my powers hands. Steve's voice consorted into a ringtone. I grabbed my phone seeing Nat's name plastered at the top of it.

"What." I simply responded after clicking answer.

"Still haven't visited me. Or updated me on anything." Nat replied coldly. A mask of dominance I could hear obviously.

"I saw you a while ago." I reminded and she huffed a laugh.

"We had a joint call. There's something I'd like you to help us with." Nat only responded.

"Is something wrong?" I asked simply from curiosity.

"Would you come here if there was?" She questioned back. I took it in and inhaled to think. A long time ago I would've been their instantly. But now I'm only a ghost that has fallen into a routine that has driven me dry. I couldn't face them, there was no point to. What could be worse than Thanos?

"If it is. Maybe I would." I had been standing in a dirt path for way too long that I started to move forward.

I stopped again when Nat replied, "It's been 5 years. I think it's time you come home."

-

The next morning I rose feeling groggy. Nat pleaded for me to visit because of some issue Wakanda was having. I hadn't seen Nat in 5 years, only heard her through my own cell phone. She convinced me because I felt her urgency had meaning. If it came to Thanos maybe I could tolerate the avengers I was once friendly with. But it seemed to me she was desperate, Thanos not included. Or maybe it just had to be the want of the old days back again. I'd stop by just to see her and that was it.

"You are such a softie." Thor teased drunkenly. I hadn't heard him or seen him acknowledge me in quite a long time that the eye contact felt wrong. It was a good thing he was too drunk to focus on anything.

"I'll be back tomorrow I'm sure." I explained everything with little detail, "Save some alcohol for someone other than yourself while I'm gone."

"Going right back to Steve after everything?" Thor plopped down in his usual seat and hummed, "Softie~"

I blinked, "I'm visiting Nat. She needs me for some job in Wakanda."

"Wakanda..." Thor stiffened before taking a swig of beer, "...Have a good trip."

Was all he said making me merely nod, "Take it easy till I return."