Perfectly Imperfect

Funk

Rachel ran down the halls with Mercedes, Kurt, Tina and Artie in tow, breathlessly announcing to Quinn, Dani, and Mike, "You guys have to come to the auditorium-- it's an emergency!"

When all thirteen of the New Directions arrived at the school's auditorium, Rachel walked toward the stage that was filled with Vocal Adrenaline including one Jesse St. James, "Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?"

"I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas."

Finn stepped toward the stage, sneering at his ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend as he folded his arms across his chest, "Why are you here in our auditorium?"

"The blogs and the chat rooms say that we're finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment."

After Vocal Adrenaline presented the McKinley High New Directions with Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust", Jesse St. James' dance partner giggled at the baffled New Directions, "Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It's quaint."

Artie led his twelve astonished friends through the halls, "It's a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep black funk."

"Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them."

Puck groaned, not seeing the parallels Finn was trying to draw between their football team and what the Vocal Adrenaline just presented them, "Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden."

"Come on, keep your heads up, guys. It's going to take more than that to get us into a funk." With the word funk exiting the mouth of Kurt Hummel, the New Directions walked into the choir room to see the new decoration being toilet paper.

Tina was sobbing as the New Directions tried to clear the room of the toilet paper that was plastered around the choir room, "I feel so violated. It's like someone broke into our home."

"Look, it was just a lame little prank. And the fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked."

Mercedes sucked her teeth as she scraped the mounds of toilet paper that draped the choir room's centerpiece, the grand piano, stuffing the strands of bathroom tissue into the black garbage bag, "Uh-uh, Mr. Schue. They aren't afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic. You know, which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?"

Sue came into the classroom, followed by a few nerds that none of the Glee Club recognized, "I gave 'em all keys. Helped them do a sound check over the weekend. Hey, this way, fellas. Let's punch out this wall here. That'll open up the space a little bit."

"Sue, what are you doing?"

Sue walked past him, leading the swarm of geeks toward the trophy case, "I can't talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying."

"Sue, get out of my room."

"Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you're 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed."