Perfectly Imperfect

Britney/Brittany

Mr. Schuester bounded into the choir room, dropping a stack of sheet music on top of the piano then turning to the whiteboard and scribing the name in big letters 'CHRISTOPHER CROSS', "All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

Brittany raised her hand unexpectedly, "He discovered America."

Will shrugged, starting to distribute the stack of sheet music, "Close."

Baffled by the declaration of how close Brittany's answer was, Dani's jaw dropped, "How is that even possible?"

"He did write an iconic chart topper: "Sailing"."

Kurt groaned at the sheet music he'd been handed, "I have a bad feeling about this lesson."

"Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him."

Mr. Schue dismissed their commentary, continuing in his lesson plan, "Now some people think of the term "Easy Listening" as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones...and you guys are really good about putting it all out there But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you."

Finn flipped through his copy, thinking out loud, "How could you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart."

The quarterback's friend scoffed, shaking her blonde head at him as she reviewed her sheet music, "It's a hyperbole, you dork."

Kurt glanced over his sheet music, neatly shuffling them before laying his copy onto his lap and raising his hand, "Mr. Schue? If I may. I think I speak for all of us when I say it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand: That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by...Wait for it...Ms. Britney Spears."

"Sorry, Kurt, Kurt, sorry. No, no, no. I don't think she's a very good role model."

Rachel liked the idea, upset by the instant denial by their teacher, "But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her."

Tina agreed, shrugging off Mike's arm, "She's literally why I wanted to become a performer."

"I don't want to do Britney."

Kurt tilted his head to the side, "Why no Britney, Brittany?"

"Because my name is also Brittany Spears."

Dani slumps down in her chair, shaking her head as she realized where her friend was going with this, "Oh, no not this again."

Mercedes looked to her right, assuming by how Dani just responded that she knew what Brittany was talking about, "What the hell is she talking about?"

"My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce.That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. "Brittany Spierce." I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears' shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

Mr. Schue smirked gratefully when hearing Brittany's ridiculous explanation that acted as his out, "Well, there you have it, guys. It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry."

"Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot."

Santana turned to glare at Kurt, resting a comforting hand on Britt's knee, "Leave Brittany alone."