How many chances

part 81

after talking to mattia for a while i laid down in bed missing kobe and wishing he would come lay with me but he never came so i picked up the cover putting it over my head and taking deep breathes trying to stop my tears from coming out then the door opened but i didn't look who it was and i felt someone lay their head on mine and when i recognized who it was i calmed down a little

Y: what do you want mike
Mike: i can't check on my best friend anymore
Y: you only feel bad for me
Mike: yea but it's not the only reason i want to make sure you're ok
Y: no i'm not ok now go hang out with your girlfriend
Mike: she's sleeping right now
Y: then go sleep with her
Mike: y/n i haven't seen you act like this for a while
Y: i'm fine mike
Mike: last time you were acting like this and told me you were fine you almost killed you-
Y: i really don't want to talk about the past i'm fine
Mike: i'm not walking out that door unless you're right next to me
Y: i'm not going downstairs or anywhere kobe has been
Mike: i love you y/n but you're running away from your problems by staying in this room
Y: and
Mike: and that's not healthy you need to learn to deal with it head on you can't hide forever
Y: fine mike got damn
Mike: you can be mad at me all you want now come on
Y: i said fine jeez

i got from under the cover and put my hair in a messy bun then i threw a hoodie on with some shorts and my slides and mike grabbed my hand walking out of the room and downstairs while i dragged my feet along until we made it downstairs and i plopped on the couch just looking at the tv not even paying attention to what was on it until ava nudged me then pointed at kobe and cherry in the kitchen joking around and laughing while making videos

Y: ok
Ava: you aren't going to do anything
Y: i'm so mentally tired of chasing him if he cheats this time then that's it i'm done
Kairi: oh wow you look like you hit rock bottom
Y: maybe i don't know and i don't care
Mike: can y'all watch y/n and make sure she doesn't go anywhere while i go to the bathroom
Kenzie: why
Cohen: last time she was acting like this she tried to kill her-
Y: cohen stop please leave the past in the past
Cohen: sorry
Angel: wait finish your sentence
Melissa: we all know he was going to say last time she was like this she tried to kill herself
Omar: if she didn't want it brought up why would you stoop so low to say that
Melissa: what we all knew y/n always runs away from her problems so when things get bad i wouldn't expect anything else from her
Y: i'm not perfect ok and i'm sorry i can't be i'm trying i'm fucking trying why is that never enough for you i want to be perfect and be the girl every guy wants and the girl that's always happy no matter what but i'm human and shit hurts and somethings hurt more than others and i thought that was my only escape and so that's the route i tried to take but i stopped and i'm still here so why can't that be enough for you jeez you just want to see me dead that's it and if that's what you want then fine melissa i'm so tired of always hearing you saying a smart ass comment to me even when you got your ass beat and i'm so tired of seeing my fiancé in other girls faces that shit is so mentally draining and i haven't been this down since that day i literally have no motivation to do anything i didn't even have motivation to come downstairs and right now i'm thinking about taking the same route as last time but maybe this time if i try harder then it'll work

i now had tears coming down my face but i got up and jogged upstairs with the boys chasing behind me but i locked the door and sat in front of it crying while they banged on it begging for me to let them in but i didn't want them inside i didn't want them to have to see me like this twice so i walked over to my bed and laid down just curling in a ball and crying i could hear the tv in the background so i searched around on the bed and then when i found the remote i turned the tv off and forced myself to sleep while the banging of the boys in the background got louder when i woke up i had a massive head ache and i looked in the mirror that was next to my bed and i looked like shit when i opened the door all the boys were laying down on the floor sleep but mike was siting up in the middle of them

Y: you're still up
Mike: yes now stop crying before you give yourself bags
Y: well i'll cut them off
Mike: y/n stop talking like that
Y: i'm sorry mike
Mike: do you want to maybe go out to eat
Y: no
Mike: i can make you breakfast
Y: ok that doesn't sound like a bad idea

mike laughed which made me smile and he grabbed my hand and walked downstairs and i sat at the table while he started making breakfast for me and him then the door knob started moving and when it opened kobe and cherry came through laughing with breakfast in their hands and i just looked at them and i felt my eyes watering again

Mike: hey y/n wanna come cook with me
Y: oh sure i guess

i walked over to mike not really saying anything at first then he dipped his finger in the batter and put it on my nose making me smile and my tears fall down soon we were throwing flour on each other and laughing and i started feeling a little better

💙💜