How many chances

part 144

king and leilani are actually with my mom this time but it's been a month now and me and kobe haven't done anything sexual in three weeks not gonna lie even though sex isn't the only thing in a marriage it definitely helps but there's been more arguments between me and kobe and it's honestly really stressful with two babies and someone always yelling at me telling me i'm not doing the right thing but today i decided to make the first move so once i got home from dropping the kids off three hours away i got dressed in my regular pajamas and i walked into the room about to talk to kobe about it but i didn't see him so i closed the door then i heard rambling in the other room so i walked in with my phone in my hand about to show him a cute picture i found from our wedding then tell him but once i walked in the room my phone fell out my hand and tears fell down my face and i felt like i was watching my whole entire world crumble down in front of me i saw kobe with ashley and not in the way i wanted to i didn't know what to do i was completely frozen i tried to move and i tried to speak but i couldn't nothing worked i couldn't do anything no matter how much i wanted to all i could do was cry and watch as the guy i loved more than anything else and even more than myself cheated on me when he finally noticed me standing there he jumped away from her and quickly got dressed the  came and hugged me apologizing over and over again i was stuck for a while then he pulled away and looked at me and i slapped him with all the energy in me i was filled with sadness and betrayal and hate i felt so dumb ever believing he changed and i felt manipulated he lied like he actually gave a fuck about me and i believed all of it

Kobe: baby i'm so sorry
Y: i'm done i want a divorce
Kobe: what are you serious
Y: duh i'm fucking serious kobe you cheated on me i loved you so fucking much that my dumbass even bought you a fucking lambo was i not good enough for you was there something wrong with me that you couldn't only love me shit you were right i didn't have to worry about cherry i just had to worry about the girls she brought around you huh i never cheated on you i never gave you a reason to cheat on me i didn't do anything i tried to be perfect i tried to put up this fake persona that i had my life set and that i knew what i was doing i did all of that so you would love me i made myself trust you and believe that we were gonna last forever but in reality we were just a ticking time bomb meant to set off i just wish i saw all the red flags before i decided to marry you but don't worry apparently you don't really want me and i'm not going to force you to be with anyone you don't want i'm done i want a divorce and i'm moving out don't try to come around my kids i trusted you kobe and i loved you with everything in me but hey maybe if i was skinner or prettier you would've actually seen that i loved you but i don't care if you don't want me then you could've said that fuck dude this shit hurts i'm done talking how about we just do each other a favor and never talk to each other ever again and you can keep all the gifts i don't want them anymore all the i love you's were just lies
Kobe: y/n
Y: don't fucking touch me kobe

i walked out and went into the room closing and locking the door then i pulled out all my suitcases and started packing them and crying i was a complete mess i was yelling and screaming and throwing things i was pissed i gave him my all and he cheated in the house we bought together i hated him with everything in me but then i still loved him but i pushed that feeling down and when i finished packing i didn't even care how much bags i had i got all of them and went downstairs i had mascara coming down my face and i only had my pajamas on but i didn't care i put all my bags in my car then slammed my door shut and after that i walked back inside

Kobe: y/n please i'm sorry
Y: yea but you weren't sorry when you were fucking her leave me alone we're done i'll send the divorce papers as soon as i get them
Kobe: i'm not signing them
Y: you do it willingly or i'll take you to court
Kobe: so that's it we're really over
Y: yea we are

i threw the ring at kobe and walked out slamming the door then i got in my car and drove off back to the old house just sitting in the driveway i was so hurt i could barely think straight my mind was everywhere ~TW~ i soon reached in my glove compartment and pulled out my pocket knife and held it to my wrist i thought about not doing it then the image of kobe and ashley kept replaying in my mind and next thing i knew i did it and blood splattered on my face and it was dripping down my wrist i was sitting there feeling myself getting weak or in other terms dying then i saw lights and my babies grown up running around laughing and smiling then i saw them crying and asking where i was and i couldn't watch any longer so i squinted my eyes shut then picked up my phone calling mattia

Mattia: what's up
Y: i- i'm outside and i cut myself and i don't want to die mattia please come help me
Mattia: what i'm coming are you ok
Y: no please help me i don't want to die mattia i'm not ready to go yet please

mattia hung up and i saw him running outside with everyone behind him and when he picked me up out of the car everyone started yelling and freaking out and i heard him begging me to keep my eyes open he was crying and his voice was breaking then everything went black

why am i crying 💀