How many chances

part 166

soon tony left to go home and i got up taking a shower then i sat on my bed watching movies and doing my hair then i got a message from kobe saying he was outside which was weird since i never told him my address but i got up checking and when i opened the door he was indeed there

Y: what do you want
Kobe: are you home alone
Y: yea wh-

before i could finish kobe pushed past me and came in then closed the door

Y: this is borderline trespassing
Kobe: i don't care i came to talk to you
Y: what happened to you being ok with me being with tony
Kobe: i saw the way you looked at me when i said it
Y: and
Kobe: so you do miss me
Y: kobe we shouldn't be having this conversation you shouldn't even be in my house right now you shouldn't even know where i live
Kobe: if you didn't want me to know then maybe don't let half the house know
Y: yea i'm starting to realize that but that doesn't change that fact that you need to go i'm with tony and you're with ashley we should be happy that we've moved on
Kobe: why don't you get it i haven't moved on
Y: well i have and i want to keep it that way
Kobe: so you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me
Y: kobe i-
Kobe: no look at me and tell me you don't want me

y/n crossed her arms and started walking away and kobe turned her around and kissed her and even though a little part of her wanted to kiss him back she pushed him away

Y: i think you should go
Kobe: i never turned them in
Y: turn what in
Kobe: the divorce papers i never turned them in
Y: then what did you do with them
Kobe: i shredded them
Y: you said you'd turn them in why'd you lie you even came to the hospital to get me to sign them because you didn't want to worry me about it
Kobe: i lied because i knew if you went and got them then you would've actually turned them in and i couldn't lose you physically and legally
Y: you still lied to me
Kobe: please at least tell me you understand for instance if you fucked up and i wanted a divorce you would turn them in even if you really didn't want to and everything between us was good nothing was wrong and it felt perfect for you would you be able to do it
Y: i don't know if i would kobe
Kobe: then you see where i'm coming from
Y: that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me
Kobe: i lied because i couldn't lose you y/n i didn't want to and i wasn't going to got damn it i think about you from the time i wake up to the time i close my eyes i fucked up i know that and i'm such a fucking idiot yes and you can slap me and cuss me out a thousand and one times but that's not gonna change the fact that i'm absolutely fucking crazy about you and i can't live without you i don't want to i know i honestly know i always mess up and i apologize one thousand times a day and it's always my fault but when i'm not with you there's always a part of me that feels empty and no matter who i'm with no one can fill it but you it's insane how much i think about you and when i see tony touching you i feel like a fucking psychopath and you don't have to say anything i just want you to know that i love you y/n i love you so fucking much and i'm so sorry i ever hurt you
Y: please go kobe
Kobe: y/n
Y: please just go i'm begging you please

kobe walked out closing the door and y/n looked up and she had tears coming down her face and she sat down crying while kobe was in his car crying with his head against the steering wheel then he pulled out driving away while y/n walked upstairs getting in the shower and just sitting there after a while her phone started ringing so she got out wrapping herself in a towel and answering the phone

Ida: hey girly how you doing
Y: i'm fine ida why
Ida: why do you sound so upset
Y: nothing ida what do you want
Ida: mhm i'm coming over right now
Y: please don't do that
Ida: i'll be over with the girls bye now
Y: ida n-

ida hung up in my face and i rolled my eyes then dried off and got dressed after a while there was a knock on the door and i went downstairs opening the door and they all came in hugging me and i stood there fighting back tears then they pulled away and just looked at me causing a tear to fall down my cheek

Devyn: aww baby what's wrong
Y: nothing i'm fine shit is just messing with my head and i can barely think straight but i'm fine i have tony and the kids love him so everything's ok right
Ida: of course everything's great don't you worry your pretty head about that

i just turned around walking upstairs and the girls walked with me once we got up there we all sat down on the bed and got under the cover while cynthia picked a movie and the others ate snacks

Davine: so what's up with you and kobe
Ida: really davine
Davine: what i'm curious and i can't be the only one wondering like do you still like him
Y: did y'all come over here for something to go tell your boyfriends or did you actually come for me
Devyn: we came for you davine just has a big mouth
Y: well if it's ok with y'all i don't want to talk about kobe at all
Davine: sorry i brought it up

i rolled my eyes then the girls changed the conversation to something funny and we all ate and laughed

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