How many chances

part 85

(back to y/n pov)

i was telling my mom about what happened and it made me upset just remembering it and that's when she got into her "counselor" mode that she always did when something was bothering me i hated when she did it but she loved doing it so i could never have the guts to tell her that i don't like it

Mom: so what do you think about the whole marriage
Y: i'm scared that he's not ready i don't know i feel like something will happen and he'll go off on me again
Mom: has he ever gone off on you before
Y: no
Mom: well then maybe he just really needed you that one time and when you weren't around he felt like he hit rock bottom but as a man he couldn't just run home to his mom and talk his problems out so he counted on you for that but you weren't around
Y: mama i truly meant no harm i just feel asleep and forgot and i didn't even remember what happened until he mentioned it when he was snapping at me
Mom: see your fiancé was outside of a skating rink crying and he told you he needed to tell you something when y'all got home but you forgot about that and had the time of your life while he was hurting deeply and so he thought that since you were having fun then the least you would do is remember that he needed you and when you weren't around to do that then he saw it as a sign that you didn't care about him and it was just like it was his problem not yours but as a wife you have to make time to be there for your family even if it's going to hurt
Y: i fell asleep mama i didn't mean to forget
Mom: y/n listen to me you can't forget things like that because it doesn't only affect your partner but it also affects your relationship and then everything just starts falling apart and i understand you were probably tired but next time you have to force yourself to stay awake so you can be there for the people that need you the most come on you know that
Y: i know mama last time kobe was in the hospital i didn't even get a second to myself i stayed awake until he woke up and then i slept in the bed with him not leaving his side even though we weren't together but i'm scared that if the shoe is on the other foot then he wouldn't do the same for me
Mom: y/n i see the way that boy looks at you even when you're just talking to me he stares at you like you're the only person in the whole house or even the world if there's anyone in the world that loves you as much as i do or more it's that boy and you better believe that he looks at you like you're the prettiest girl that he's ever seen and guys like that only come around once in a lifetime
Y: so then if he messes up what am i supposed to do just stay with him because "guys like him only come around once in a lifetime"
Mom: no you tell him how you feel about the situation and you keep it pushing and build your relationship stronger but if he does something that you just can't forgive then you tell him off and after that you leave him and move on because you don't need anyone who doesn't mean you anything but the best in your life and i've been preaching that to you for years
Y: ok
Mom: ok that's all you have to say right now
Y: i don't know mama it's just i know if kobe cheats again i won't be able to handle it
Mom: see y/n that's your problem
Y: what is
Mom: you always run away from your problems you never face them head on it's like when something is going bad for you then you run and you don't even think twice next time something happens i want you to face it head on and if that doesn't work then you can run as far and fast as you can but you never know how bad a situation really is until you face it
Y: bu-
Mom: no buts y/n i've babied you too much and i'm starting to see that now but i can't keep doing that you're eighteen and about to nineteen in a few days you have to act like it you moved out and had a baby and now you're getting married it's time for you to officially act like an adult no backing out it's all or nothing
Y: ok next time something happens i'll face it head on no going back but i'm scared what if i'm not as strong as you try to make me seem
Mom: then you come to me and you let me talk to you like i always do and then you'll be ready to go again
Y: i don't want to face my problems i'm so scared i don't want you to lose me because i wasn't strong enough
Mom: hey look at me i'm not going to lose you because you're strong and you're going to make it through any battle that you're going through no one is going to have the strength over wether or not you stay in this world and no matter what don't you ever think no one cares about you because i love you so so much and i'd do anything for you and there should never be a second that goes by that you think anything different if you ever need me you're more than welcome to come home and talk to me as long as you want i promise
Y: thank you so much mom i really needed this more than you'll know
Mom: that's what i'm here for

i hugged my mom then walked upstairs going to my room and falling asleep

💙