Freedom Fighters League of the Exiled

Acceptance

"So what do you plan on doing?" Shadis asked, sitting across from me. He had been watching me sit and rack my brain for the last few hours.

"I don't know, Eren seemed really determined and I don't doubt that he will go through with his plan. I'm just hoping that asking him to wait and hold off on it might give him time to clear his head and come up with a better plan."

"Or it could do the opposite," he sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well the longer he sits and dwells on it he could talk himself out of it, or he could talk himself into it more. I mean he's already made up his mind that he thinks that is the only way so what happens if he sits in the mindset. Especially sitting in that mindset and seeing no real change happen. It could drive him to want to do it more."

I let out a frustrated sigh. I didn't even think of that."What am I going to do?" I asked, finally realizing I've been backed into a corner. It's been hours and I still can't come up with any ideas to pull Eren away from this reckless idea.

"Pixis," his tone dropped and I knew what he was going to say, "maybe there's nothing we can do."

"But we have to do something, we can't just let him-."

"Look I know you just want to keep him safe and trust me I would like nothing more than to figure out something to stop him from going through with this but let's face it we're both coming up short here. Besides he makes a few good points. As much as I hate saying this I kind of agree with his plan. I just don't want them to be the ones to go through with it. They've been through enough. They shouldn't have to be the ones to put themselves into danger."

"Stop right there," I cut him off. "No one is going through with it, not them, and not you. I will figure out another way."

"Sure you will," he said standing up and heading out of the room, "I'm going to head to bed. Try not to stay up too late." he left the room before I could argue with him some more.

I don't care what anyone says. I will keep everyone safe. That is my job. That is what everyone has trusted me to do. Erwin and I were the ones to come up with the plans before Eren came up with all those good ideas. How hard can it be to jump back in? I mean I can figure something out... right? I don't have much of a choice now. I have to figure something else out.

I sat back with some paper looking at all the information we gathered. A few times I would stand up and pace around trying to get my blood flowing to my brain. I tried to think outside of the box but each time I came up with nothing. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've been sitting here mumbling to myself different ideas and none of them will work.

I slouched back down in my chair feeling absolutely defeated. Several hours have gone by and I'm right back at square one. "Maybe Shadis is right there is no other way. I can't talk Eren out of it and the more I think about it he's right," I mumbled out. "Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go for it so they don't have to. If I even think about doing that Shadis will have my head. He will definitely stop me from trying. I'm sure Eren will also try to stop me. Then again he doesn't have to know, Neither of them do. After the next mission, I could just leave a note explaining that I was going ahead with Eren's plan."

"That is a stupid ass idea," I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and saw Levi standing there staring at me with his arms folded. I felt like a deer in headlights. He was going to tell Eren.

"I was walking by and heard you mumbling to yourself and thought I should check-in," he said.

"Where's Eren?"

"Still sleeping. I couldn't sleep. I just kept tossing and turning thinking about this stupid plan of his. I was trying to forget about it, but I couldn't." He said plopping down in the other chair nodding his head at me to take a seat too.

I plopped down and gave him a confused look, "I thought you were on board with his plan?"

"I agree that it's probably going to be the only thing to work, but I don't like it. I wanted to find a different way, but I promised I would support him if he had to go through with it."

"Well, what if I do it instead? Then you don't have to watch him do it and it will still work.

"I don't like it no matter who does it. Just cause I'm dating Eren doesn't mean I'm going to trade one life for another. I don't like it no matter who goes."

"But think of it this way, I have more stuff I can tell them. I mean I can tell them how I watched everything change how I took all these kids under my wing with the sole intent of keeping them safe and that's the whole reason I came to speak rather than one of you guys."

Levi sat back and took a moment to think. Honestly, that sounded like my best plan at this point. I'm sure if I brought it up to Eren even he would have to agree that it's more convincing. I had more to share than they did. Of course, I wouldn't give exact numbers or tell about anything too personal, but I could tell them about anything the group would want me to share.

"As much as I hate this you make a good point. I mean people are sappy for a sob story and what a better sob story than a man who has watched everything crumble around him and still holds his head up high enough to protect and save others." He took another moment of silence before letting out a frustrated sigh. "I doubt Eren would let you go in alone though."

"Why do you say that?"

"For the same reasons I mentioned. You are the one who looks after everyone this whole group would crumble without your guidance. I know it, Eren knows it. He's going to insist on tagging along for protection."

"So when he goes alone it's okay but when I do it it's not?"

"It's not okay for anyone to go alone. Besides I was tagging along with Eren for the same reason he would tag along with you."

"Which means if Eren tags along with me then so will you?" I asked knowing that this is exactly where this was heading.

"Yup, but then again two bodyguards are better than one," he shrugged.

"How did I go from planning against this to being all for it and then some by the end of it?" I mostly talking to myself.

"I mean let's be real you are still against it, but you know it's the only way," he asked and I nodded. "That's how I feel about this too. I do feel a little better knowing that there will be three of us there, and not to toot our own horns but I argue that we are sending three of our strongest in meaning that even if it is a trap that we will have the best odds of making it out in one piece."

"Or we lose three of our strongest people leaving the group to fend for themselves," I said with a sigh.

"Well, they will always have Mikasa, Hanji, Rico, and Shadis to get them through it," Levi shrugged.

I sat back and accepted the fact that I'm agreeing to this. What is wrong with me? Am I getting more reckless? Am I letting all the losses get to me? Ilsa, Reiner? I can't help but think who is next? In all honesty, I would rather it be me so I wouldn't have to see any more people go.

"I can't tell what you're thinking but your emotions aren't very pleasant," Levi finally spoke up.

"Just wondering if I'm being too reckless with this decision."

"Probably." I looked up at him surprised to hear him agree to that. "But then again sometimes you have to be a little reckless to get shit done."

I just let out another sigh. "I guess you're right." I shook my head wanting to be done with this. "I'll tell Eren about this later. I want to try and give myself more time to come up with another plan even though I don't see it happening."

"That's fair," Levi nodded, "I won't say anything. Besides I don't want to be the one to tell him you are the one going in."

"Anyway what are you doing up this late anyway? I mean I know you said you couldn't sleep but isn't it like 2 in the morning?"

"Actually it's 6 in the morning," Levi corrected me.

"Oh shit." Shadis is gonna be mad I stayed up all night. "I think I need to head to bed," I said standing up.

"I should probably head back to my room and be there when Eren wakes up." We both headed out of the office and back to our rooms. I laid down and knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Everything was just floating around my head. This is going to be a long day.