The Deep Oneshots Part 2

incorrect quotes

Here we go again.

Alpheus: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Finn: Put spaghetti in it.
Alpheus: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Maddy: Put spaghetti in it.
Alpheus: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Fontaine: Put spaghetti in it.
Alpheus: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Alpheus : I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour

Fontaine : Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Fontaine : Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Jess: What the f*ck kind of pep talk is that?
Fontaine : Ominous positivity.

Hammerhead: Okay, now, to review, if a stranger came up to you and said "I'm your dad's friend, he told me to pick you up" what would you say?
Finn: I would say "You're lying, my dad doesn't have any friends!"
Hammerhead:...
Alana: *wheezes*

Kaiko: What the fuck happened to you?!
Fontaine: I can’t tell you.
Kaiko: What?! Why not?!
Fontaine: Because I really don’t want you to go to jail for murder.

Maddy: How did you know I was here?
Alpheus: There’s a tracker in your earring.
Maddy: A tracker!? Really?!
Alpheus: Oh don’t give me that look, you’ve snuck out and gone missing three times this month, and been kidnapped twice. What else was I supposed to do?

Fontaine: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Kaiko: guess what. We officially have reached 50
Fontaine: 50? 50 what?
Will: Alpheus has officially crashed 50 vehicles in the past decade.
Kaiko: 46 of those were his.
Fontaine: and the other 4?
Kaiko: the woa's
Ant: ??? and I'M the one that's not allowed to drive???

Alana: Finn has a very strange patchwork of knowledge. It's anybody's guess as to what he knows about any given topic. Watch. Hey Finn who sculpted Mount Rushmore?
Finn: Guzton Borglum, then his son finished it. Why?
Alana: And what state is it in?
Finn: I don’t know, Ecuador or something?

Ant: Usually, we make a plan, it goes to crap, and we make a new plan. Just to be clear: this is the part where it goes to crap.

Finn: Violence isn't the answer.
Maddy: You’re right.
Finn: *sighs in relief*
Alana: Violence is the question.
Finn: What?
Alana and Maddy, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Finn, running after them: NO-

Finn: I think you're still suffering from the effects of your party last night.
Alana: All I drank was Redbull!
Finn: How many?
Alana: Eighteen.

Ant: I only learn languages out of spite

Kaiko: alright, now everyone pay attention. i have an announcement to make and i only have a minute
Ant: why?
Fontaine: are you in a hurry?
Kaiko: no, i was referring to your relatively short attention spans

Alana: am I going too far with this?
Finn: no you went too far about 8 hours ago, now you're going to jail.

Thanks for reading please leave any thoughts or suggestions in the comments and feel free to use any of my ideas or oc's in your own works!!