The Deep Oneshots Part 2

incorrect quotes

Enjoy!!

Kaiko: hippity hoppity your child is now my property

Alpheus: Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life. Shit just happens and I'm like "oh this is what we're doing now, okay."

Finn: Maddy, you just destroyed my door.
Maddy: I just wanted you to let me in
Finn: YOU COULD'VE KNOCKED.

Maddy: How did Ant react when he found out you were dating Fontaine?
Finn: Ant was cool with it.
Maddy:.....
Finn: He threw a rock at me.

Fontaine: I just heard Ant yell "you USED me!!!" from the kitchen and I'm sitting here like ??? 2 seconds later Coffee running into my bedroom holding a cookie.

Will: How many kids do we have?
Kaiko: Well not counting Alpheus like four.
Will:...
Will: We need more fruit Snacks.

Kaiko: WELCOME TO THE ARONNAX we have therapy on the 2nd floor next to the McDonald's.

Finn: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea. Alpheus has been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Fontaine: Dammit the power of love and friendship aren't working.
Alana: Ok time to kill someone or what ever.

Alpheus: *exhausted from reading all night*
Alpheus: *opens cereal box*
Alpheus: *grabs bowl*
Alpheus: *opens milk carton*
Alpheus: *pours milk into hand*
Finn:... um Alpheus?
Alpheus: No no, give me a sec. I know something is wrong just give me a sec, I'll figure it out. Just wait a sec.

Pyro: you can't just keep adopting every stray child you meet!
Kaiko: watch me!

Ant: Hello fellow idiots
Alpheus: Hello
Ant: No no Alpheus you're not an idiot.
Alpheus: You underestimate me.

Fontaine pointing: can I sit there.
Finn: That's my lap
Fontaine: that doesn't answer my question

Couples on the Disney Land Teacup ride
Will and Kaiko: *spinning camly while talking*
Finn and Fontaine: *spinning somewhat fast*
Ant and Maddy: *flying past them, screaming*

Alana, trying to get Maddy out of bed: Come on, don't make me get out the water bucket.
Maddy: You wouldn't.
Finn, walking past dripping wet: Oh but yes, she would.

Kaiko: We said no shenanigans!
Ant: It was a single shenanigan.

Kaiko, looking at Alpheus who is sleeping for the first time in days: He looks so peaceful.
Ant, slowly taking out a trumpet: I don't like it.

Kaiko, giving Finn advice on how to treat his eye infection: If it hurts you can rinse your eye with boiled water.
Finn: Okay, tha-
Alana: Look at me. I know your dumbass just thought of pouring boiling water into your eye so I'm reminding you that you boil the water then wait for it to cool first, got it?

Fontaine: He may seem like an a**hole, but deep down, Alpheus is a good person.
Alpheus: And even deeper down, I’m a bigger asshole.

Alpheus: Would you stab your sibling in the leg for 10 million dollars?
Fontaine: stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Ant: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million
Fontaine: Good thinking.

Alpheus, completely serious: Ma’am, it has been reported lately that you do, in fact, have little paw-paws and a little button nose. Do you care to comment?
The cat he's holding: Mrrrow
Alpheus: Riveting
Ant, walking in: Am I interrupting something?

Alpheus: I wish I was a cat sometimes, but not in a fuzzy way, more in a “I can sleep all day and slap people with no consequences” kind of way.

Finn: And Uno!
Alana: Mother-!
Maddy: Father! Now you!
Ant: Brother! I love word association games

Alpheus: like i get you're having a bad day but I've been having a bad day for 2 years and I'm not bothering everyone else about it

Kaiko: Will, pay for this for me.
Will: Sure!
Fontaine: He can’t just pay for you!
Kaiko: Why not? He's my husband and we pay for each other for everything all the time! What’s the big deal?
Ant: We’re playing Monopoly, you cheater!

Fontaine: I know we are not a couple and all, but at least, we need to get along well to raise our child.
Finn: Agreed.
Alpheus: I. Am. Not. A. Child.

Hammerhead: What doesn’t kill me better start running cause now I’m f*cking pissed.

Fontaine: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

Kaiko: Will, why aren't you wearing your glasses?
Will: I've seen enough.

Thanks for reading please leave any thoughts or suggestions in the comments and feel free to use any of my ideas or oc's in your own works!!