begin again | woosan

- sixteen -

tw / unintentional self harm, severe panic attack

the beginning of the semester arrived fast, too fast for wooyoung's liking. he couldn't spend his every waking moment in san's presence anymore, he had to go to classes and practice and such. sure, he loved dancing, but sometimes his classes were a lot for him.

luckily, his schedule matched yeosang's almost perfectly, except they were in different classes for their minors. there was only one time difference in their schedules, but thankfully, seonghwa was also off from classes at the same time as wooyoung that day. san's schedule was pretty different, most of his classes falling at different times than wooyoung's. this worried the younger, but he kept his worries hidden, knowing it was out of his control.

the eight boys had decided to get together for dinner and a movie at seonghwa, wooyoung and yeosang's apartment to prepare themselves for the semester, but when san and jongho arrived, wooyoung was nowhere to be seen. san frowned at this, quickly greeting seonghwa and yeosang before asking anything about it.

"where's woo?"

yeosang frowned a bit, sighing.

"he hasn't left his room all day... hasn't let either of us in either..."

"oh..."

"you should try checking on him, san," seonghwa suggested. "he might let you in."

"but you guys are his best friends... why would he let me in if he wouldn't let—"

"san, listen to them," jongho insisted. "if they think you'll be let in, it's likely that you will. help their best friend."

san nodded, making his way down the hall and to wooyoung's door.

"wooyoung?" san asked softly before gently tapping on the door. "hey... are you in there?"

"g-go away..."

"woo... i'm not leaving. you know that."

"b-but—"

"hey... can i come in? give you a hug?"

"i-i don't know... i-i d-don't—"

"can you try to tell me how you're feeling? why you don't want to come out?"

"i-i— i'm s-scared, sannie..."

"what are you scared of, bub?"

"h-him... h-he's everywhere..."

"woo... i need to open the door," san explained.

he could hear the shear panic in the boy's voice and he knew it was only going to get worse the longer he was in this headspace, and from what san could tell, the boy had been stuck in this headspace all day. he needed to get in there and help the boy ground himself, it was the only way he'd be able to get through to him.

"n-n—"

san quickly walked into the room, looking wooyoung over for a moment to make sure he was physically okay before doing anything else. he was met with wooyoung's scratched up arms, blood staining places where he had scratched a bit too hard.

"hey... woo, it's me. sannie's here..." san whispered softly, sitting down on the boy's bed and putting his arms out.

"m-my sannie? h-he's here?" wooyoung questioned, his eyes glazed over from the constant replay of awful memories that were running through his mind.

san felt butterflies in his stomach at the way the younger referred to him as his own, and it brought a soft smile to his face.

"he's here, bubba... i'm right here," san said softly, gently taking one of wooyoung's hands.