begin again | woosan

- thirty six -

tw / unintentional self harm; cw / minor anxiety attack

less than a week after wooyoung's first therapy session, san was taking the boy out on another date. this time, they decided to try something new and went to a pottery painting cafe that san had found. both boys were excited, but san especially.

wooyoung and san had been on small scale dates every couple of days or so since wooyoung had admitted he was ready, but san had yet to ask wooyoung the lingering question. wooyoung was beginning to wonder if he was truly going to ask, or if the boy was getting cold feet, but he didn't mind too much honestly. as long as they were together, wooyoung wasn't bothered.

today was the day, san had decided. he was finally going to ask wooyoung to be his, all while the boy was having a good time and had a bright smile on his face. it was the perfect plan. and san couldn't find anything that could possibly ruin it.

the two had started painting mere minutes ago when san started to feel his anxiety getting to him. he was absolutely terrified of this feeling, he always had been. even worse, he was afraid that he would scare wooyoung if he had an anxiety attack in front of him.

so, as calmly as possible, san excused himself to the bathroom and took a deep breath before calling jongho.

"san? what's wrong? did something happen?"

"a-anxiety attack..."

"fuck... does woo know?"

"n-no... i-i went to the bathroom, i-i couldn't let him see me like this... j-jongho, i-i'm scared..."

"shh... it's okay, sannie. it's all going to be okay. do you want sangie and i to come to the cafe?"

"i-i don't want woo to get suspicious..."

"alright... well... let's see... can you try and take deep breaths? and think of things you're grateful for. i'll do my best to help over the phone, but i'm sorry if i'm not much of a help."

instead of protesting against jongho's apology, san instead tried to follow the boy's instructions and even out his breathing. it took what felt like hours for san, but was barely five minutes.

"there you go, san... how are you feeling?"

"meh..."

"that's okay... that's better than nothing. do you think you'll be okay for the rest of your date?"

"i-i'll do my best..."

"call me if you need anything else, okay?"

san muttered in response, nodding despite knowing that jongho couldn't see him, then the two said their goodbyes and san made his way back to the table that wooyoung was sitting at.

the boy's tongue poked out just slightly as he painted the bowl he had chosen, and san felt his anxiety beginning to melt away at the heartwarming sight. the older slid into his seat and wooyoung quickly switched his attention to san, having been a bit worried about the older but not wanting to overstep.

"everything okay, sannie?" he asked softly, putting down his paintbrush.

san only nodded, reaching across the table and grabbing wooyoung's hand. he gave the younger a soft kiss on his knuckles before smiling small, but this only worried wooyoung more.

"you were gone for a while... are you sure? i-i don't want to push or anything, i just worry a lot."

"my anxiety's acting up a bit, but i'm okay now. i called jongho and he helped a bit, and the second i saw you again i started to feel better."