begin again | woosan

- twenty five -

tw / eating disorder, weight

wooyoung woke up feeling absolutely awful. his head was pounding, his mouth was dry, and he just knew he had made a fool of himself in front of san. of course, this could be further from the truth, but it was what wooyoung chose to believe.

"sannie?" wooyoung muttered.

san rolled onto his side, gently resting his hand on wooyoung's hip.

"hi, woo~"

"mm... i-i'm sorry for passing out like that."

"don't be sorry to me, woo."

"i-i just feel bad."

"that's okay, love. it's all okay."

wooyoung's heart skipped a beat when san called him love, but san didn't even realize he had let the word slip out. he was too focused on wooyoung and making sure the boy was okay.

"woo... when's the last time you got some rest?"

"um... m-maybe a nap for an hour or two last night?"

"woo..."

"i-i can't sleep, san... i have so many bad nightmares a-and—"

"shhh... it's okay, bub. don't stress, you're okay. i was only going to ask if there was something that made you not want to sleep, but you answered that already."

"o-oh..."

"we're going to try and get you to sleep tonight, okay? whether you want to go home to sleep or stay here, i'll be right by your side, yeah? i can stay the night at yours or you can stay here, whatever you want."

"b-but—"

"i know you don't think it's going to work but it's worth a shot, okay? and that way, if you do have a nightmare you have someone to lean on when you wake up."

"okay..."

san smiled small and pressed a gentle kiss to wooyoung's forehead, the younger mumbling softly in response.

"i brought you some water for now, and when you're feeling a little more stable we can go to the kitchen and figure out something small for you to eat until you're feeling ready for something a little bigger. does that sound alright?"

"i-i don't want to..."

"wooyoung... you need to tell me what's going on. why don't you want to eat, bub?" san asked gently, pushing some of the younger's hair out of his face.

"nightmares..." wooyoung whispered, eyes filling with tears. "i-i get reminded of b-bad things, a-and it makes me feel so ugly a-and fat a-and i need to lose weight, sannie... i-i can't gain weight e-everyone will leave me..."

"woo... hey, bub, that's not true," san explained calmly, gently cupping wooyoung's cheeks and pressing their foreheads together. "no one's leaving you, angel, absolutely not. especially not me. you could be any weight and that wouldn't change a single thing that i feel for you. you'd still be my wooyoung."

"sannie... i-i feel so gross... i-i can't..."

"yes you can, bubba... i promise you, it's going to be okay. we'll take it slow, sound good?"

weakly, wooyoung nodded, then he rested his head on san's shoulder and continued to cry softly. san remained quiet, holding wooyoung protectively and kissing the boy's temple. a few minutes later wooyoung whined loudly, grabbing at his stomach and beginning to shake his head.

"ow... p-please..." he muttered out.

san was quick to recognize the boy's body language and gently took his hands, holding them apart and kissing wooyoung's head.