begin again | woosan

- thirty eight -

being official with san felt like an absolute dream. two weeks had passed since san had asked wooyoung out and neither boy could imagine anything better. wooyoung had just gotten to san's after a pretty rough therapy session, and the two were now laying in silence, wooyoung's head resting on san's chest.

"love?" san asked softly, brushing through wooyoung's hair.

"hm?"

"how are you doing?"

"okay... today was just... it was hard."

"did she say anything that made you uncomfy? what happened?"

"um... she didn't mean to... i could tell she felt awful when i started crying. but she started asking some things that reminded me of what he did a-and it just got overwhelming."

"did you feel panicky?"

wooyoung shook his head.

"not panicky, just... bad. i-i don't know what to call it."

"i see... you doing a bit better now?"

wooyoung nodded, a small smile on his face.

"you make everything feel better, sannie."

san leaned forward and gently pecked wooyoung's lips, the younger's smile growing.

"i'm glad, my love. how do you feel about getting a snack now?"

"mm... can we wait a little longer? i'm comfy."

san laughed softly, kissing wooyoung's forehead.

"of course we can, angel. just let me know if you get hungry or anything, yeah?"

wooyoung was quick to agree, then leaning into san a bit more and closing his eyes. san smiled down at the boy in his arms, taking in every little moment.

things were quiet for the next half hour or so, wooyoung slowly recentering his mind so that he had more energy to talk to his partner. he was grateful that san was so understanding when he was like this, that he didn't try to force anything. healing felt a lot easier having san by his side.

"san?"

"yes, my love?"

"thank you for always letting me come over here after therapy. it feels nice."

"ah, don't thank me, woo. i just want you to feel comfortable. i know that therapy hasn't been the easiest so far and you deserve to feel relaxed after you go for your sessions. if this is somewhere that makes you feel relaxed, i'm happy to have you here and help alleviate that stress."

"c-can i be honest?" wooyoung asked nervously.

"of course, love."

"this doesn't feel real... none of this feels real."

"what do you mean?" san asked, a confused look on his face.

"i-i don't know how to explain it... n-nothing's felt real since i finally broke up with him. i've just been surviving. a-and having you... having someone who actually cares about me? it's scary. i-i'm not used to any of this, it just... it doesn't feel like it's real life. i-i'm terrified that this is all some kind of hallucination or something, t-that you're not real or not really into me a-and i'm just going to get hurt again..." wooyoung rambled, beginning to get choked up as his eyes filled with tears.

"woo..."

"p-please... please don't hurt me, san... i-i'm scared... p-please just always be the guy i-in front of me right now. i-i don't want you to change, i-i don't want to lose my sannie."