begin again | woosan

- eighty four -

tw / discussions about suicide attempt, panic attack

the next morning, san was up and ready to go exactly half an hour before visiting hours started. he took bada out and tried his best to have some breakfast himself, then went and knocked lightly on yeosang's door. he opened it just slightly to find jongho was awake, holding yeosang close as the older remained asleep.

"san? what are you doing awake so early?" jongho asked in a whisper.

"visiting hours start soon... i-i want to be there as soon as i can."

"san..." jongho sighed. "did you get any sleep?"

"yeah... i did."

"i can't just leave sangie here..."

"can i take your car then?"

"what? no! i'm not letting you take my car, not when you're like this. go see if hwa hyung is awake and ask him to bring you."

"but—"

"san, i'm serious. you're not taking my car."

san sighed, walking out without another word and heading across the hall to seonghwa's room. he tapped lightly on the door, waiting only a couple of seconds before the door opened, hongjoong opening it.

"san... hey, how are you doing?"

"i-is hwa hyung up?"

"yeah... he's up," hongjoong said softly, quickly leaving the room to continue his conversation with san. "why? what's going on?"

"i-i want to go see woo a-and sangie's still asleep... jongho won't let me take his car a-and told me to ask hwa."

"i'll take you... i just need to try and get hwa back to sleep... he woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and hasn't been able to get back to sleep since."

"o-okay... um, h-how long?"

"maybe twenty minutes? if he's not asleep then i'll see if he wants to come with us."

"o-okay..."

hongjoong nodded and headed back into seonghwa's room, and san headed back to the couch, sitting down and staring at the ground. he felt empty without wooyoung by his side, it felt so wrong to be sitting there without him.

bada hopped into san's lap after a couple minutes, clearly sensing the boy's sadness. he curled up close to him, nudging the boy's arm to get some head rubs.

"bada... you're the best boy, you know that? you mean so much to us."

close to half an hour later, hongjoong emerged from seonghwa's room again, waving a bit.

"sorry it took so long... he started to fall asleep right around when i said i'd be out and i didn't want to get up too quickly and wake him up."

"it's okay... d-do you know what his nightmare was about?"

"walking in and seeing woo like that..."

"o-oh... yeah, i had a similar nightmare last night..."

"and you didn't come get anyone?"

"i-i had bada with me... it was okay."

hongjoong nodded, a frown on his face. he felt awful that san was stuck suffering alone like that.

"are you ready to head out?" he asked.

"yeah... need to see woo..."

with that, the two boys headed to the hospital to see wooyoung. upon their arrival, san tensed, and he only grew more tense when they got up to his room and saw a doctor in the room.