begin again | woosan

- thirty -

tw / severe panic attack, unintentional self harm

wooyoung and san's date had started out great. the two went to see a movie and then took a walk in the park, a bright smile being left on wooyoung's face. this felt rewarding to san, knowing he had the power to make wooyoung smile like that.

now the two were sitting in a coffee shop, sharing a croissant and sipping on their respective drinks. they held hands across the table, san gently rubbing his thumb across the back of wooyoung's hand as he admired the boy quietly.

"you keep looking at me like that," wooyoung muttered shyly.

"looking at you like what?"

"like you're in love with me or something..."

"well... i'm definitely headed in that direction," san smiled, chuckling softly. "i like you a lot, woo."

"i-i like you a lot too, sannie... in fact... i-i think i'm ready."

san froze for a moment and his eyes widened in shock, unable to believe what he had just heard.

"really? you're ready...?"

"yeah... i-i am."

"woo... bub, you're sure? like... 100% sure?"

wooyoung giggled slightly at san's shock and nodded.

"more than 100% sure."

"woo... i've waited so long for this moment, i don't even know what to say..."

"well i have an idea," wooyoung snickered.

"no, no i can't just ask you like that, i need to make it special. something that makes you feel just how important you are to me."

"san... i don't need anything fancy."

"i promise, it won't be anything too much, woo. just something a little more formal than this, okay? i want it to feel special."

"really... it's okay, sannie."

"please, woo?"

"san," wooyoung breathed out, squeezing the boy's hand a little tighter than he normally would.

"woo?"

"i-i—"

wooyoung sat staring off past where san sat, his eyes glued to the wall as he tried his hardest to focus and stop the sudden panicked feeling that had taken over his body. someone in the coffee shop was wearing the same cologne that his ex always wore, and the boy was absolutely petrified that this meant having to face his abuser again.

"woo... bub, are you okay?"

"k-keep him away from me... i-i can't— n-not again," wooyoung whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut and starting to cry as he covered his ears.

san had only seen a few pictures of wooyoung's ex, but he knew what the guy looked like. he made sure to study up in case they ever crossed paths, his goal of protecting wooyoung taking priority over anything else. after hearing wooyoung's words, san was on high alert, looking around the coffee shop for the familiar face.

"woo, love, did you see him?"

"s-smell... i-i smell him..." wooyoung whimpered, making a small squeak as he flinched.

the boy was an absolute wreck, pulling at his hair and sobbing, unsure of what was real or not in the moment.

"bubba... i don't see him anywhere, yeah? someone must just be wearing the same cologne."

"b-but—"

"shh... shh, you're safe, woo. i promise that."

"h-he's gonna— h-he's—" wooyoung choked out, making a slight wheezing sound and then beginning to claw at his arms.