begin again | woosan

- sixty seven -

tw / brief mention of suicidal thoughts but it's nothing too crazy!

it wasn't until two days after he had opened the rest of his friends' presents that wooyoung finally opened seonghwa and yeosang's.

seonghwa had made it simple, getting the boy a fuzzy blanket and a new, framed copy of the boy's favorite picture. in the card he had written about how he knew it wasn't the same but he hoped that the different frame could bring new memories as wooyoung continued this fresh chapter of his life.

yeosang's was something a bit more, and it had wooyoung crying from the second he opened it. the boy had spent weeks putting this gift together, talking to both of their mothers in hopes of gathering as many pictures from their childhood as possible. once he had, he put them all together in a scrapbook, making sure to leave some room at the end for the memories they'd make in the future. it was a special reminder for wooyoung that even when things felt hopeless, there was always more to live for.

a few days had passed since he opened the gifts from seonghwa and yeosang, and he was finally getting the chance to show san the scrapbook that his best friend had made. san cooed over pictures of when the two were younger, a soft blush coating wooyoung's cheeks.

"oh my god, woo... you were so cute~"

"oh, shh... i was little of course i was! all little kids are cute," wooyoung shrugged.

san flipped forward a few pages to a picture of wooyoung as a preteen, which had the younger cringing, and san squinted a bit for dramatic effect.

"still cute here and you weren't that little then," san retaliated, a small smirk on the boy's face.

"you must be blind! god, i looked so awkward here," wooyoung whined.

"it's cute, woo. at least to me."

"i still think you're blind or something, but whatever."

the two finished looking through the scrapbook a few minutes later, then wooyoung sighed softly, a smile on his face.

"i cried when i opened it... it's just... it's a good reminder for me."

"reminder of what?"

"that there's always going to be a reason for me to keep going... i've been having a much easier time since moving and all, but sometimes things still feel really hopeless... there are still some times where i wish i was dead. this is a good reminder for me... especially with the pages left open for me to fill in the future."

"i'm really glad it's a reminder of that, my love."

"i love you... a lot," wooyoung muttered, putting the scrapbook aside.

"i love you more, angel."

"you know... i'll never get sick of all the different pet names you have for me. it makes me feel good," wooyoung admitted, snuggling into san's embrace.

"i'll never get sick of calling you by those pet names. i like it when i make you blush~"

wooyoung giggled and pressed a soft kiss to the older's lips, then the two laid down, facing each other.

"sannie?"

"hm? what's up?"

"i just... feel a little panicky right now. not a lot, but i-i just feel off."

"i'm right here, my love. you let me know if you need anything more than what i'm doing right now, okay?" san whispered, keeping his arms around the younger securely.

"thank you..."

wooyoung leaned in as close as he could to the older, grounding himself by taking in every sensation of how his body felt against san's. he wasn't sure why he was feeling panicky at all, but the security of san's arms around him was comforting.