a couple hours had passed since seonghwa and yeosang had returned with bada, yeosang having made sure that the couple of scratches the older had gotten in the fight were cleaned up nicely before they went to unpack. wooyoung had recently woken up and texted his friends, nuzzling into san a bit as soon as he had.
"hi baby," san cooed, kissing the boy's cheek.
"hi..."
"how are you doing?"
"better..."
"good... i'm glad, my love. it's been a long time since you've had a panic attack that bad."
"i-it feels really bad..."
"i know, bug."
"i want them to stop for good... i-i'm so sick of this. i've been doing so much better and all these panic attacks do is make me feel like i'm right back to square one."
"you'll get there, woo. maybe they won't be 100% gone, but you'll get to a point where they won't make you feel this way."
wooyoung nodded, sighing and cuddling closer to san.
"do you think you're ready to go talk to sangie and hwa?"
"i-i don't know..."
"if you're not it's okay, love... just say the word."
"i just want a couple more minutes..."
san nodded, kissing wooyoung's temple, then the two laid in silence. san eventually started to whisper sweet affirmations into wooyoung's ear, reminding the younger that no matter what, he wasn't alone.
"i love you," wooyoung whispered.
"i love you more."
"i-i think i'm ready now."
san nodded at this and the two got up, heading to the living room. wooyoung clung close to san, afraid of the reaction his friends would give.
"woo... hi honey," seonghwa greeted, a small smile on his face.
"hi hwa... hi sangie..."
"did you have a good nap?"
wooyoung only nodded, then san led him to sit down.
"i'm glad, you looked tired," yeosang said softly.
things went quiet for a moment and then suddenly, seonghwa spoke up.
"hey woo? do you want to tell us what happened? or do you want sangie and i to tell you what we found out?"
"huh?" wooyoung asked, confused.
"we can start there then," seonghwa suggested.
wooyoung nodded, still clinging to san, but intently listening as seonghwa started to speak.
"so, we took bada for a walk while you were napping. on our way back, we crossed paths with a couple from our building. they were fighting, and the guy pushed his girlfriend. i told him to keep his hands off of her and got into a fight with him. sangie called the cops and he was arrested for assault.
"we talked to the girl a bit... she's been trying to get rid of him for months, but he wouldn't leave her alone. earlier, they came in fighting because she wanted to be alone, and he hit her... you heard them, didn't you?"
wooyoung froze for a second, then nodded.
"i-i wanted to know what the loud noises were, so i looked out the peephole to try and see... a-and he hit her really hard. a-and then all i can remember was t-trying to get to my phone to call someone before it got bad, b-but i was too late."
san gently played with wooyoung's hair, nodding and kissing his temple a bit.
"honey... it's okay, you did your best," seonghwa said softly.
"but i-it didn't feel that way."
yeosang was silent the entire time, then shook his head.
"it may not always feel that way, youngie. but if there's one thing i know about you, it's that you always try your best, and it shows. if you hadn't been trying your best, you wouldn't be doing so much better already. it could've taken years and years for you to even be doing this much better," yeosang explained. "i love you too much for you to be selling yourself short."
wooyoung didn't respond at first, taking in the boy's words, then he nodded, taking a deep breath.
"i love you too, sangie..."
"you're valid for feeling this way, woo. but please don't forget that you're doing amazing no matter what."
another nod, then san kissed the boy's temple. wooyoung didn't move from where he sat, picking at his fingers a bit until seonghwa took his hand.
"tell me about what you did while we were gone," seonghwa suggested.
"well... not much. joongie and i spent christmas together and watched a few movies, i made us breakfast, we talked a lot... it was fun, even if it was kind of hard for me.
"after christmas i kind of had a bad day where i was just really overwhelmed and felt like i would be a bother if i reached out to anyone, so i stayed away from my phone and tried to watch some movies and bada had to try and calm me down because i had a bit of a mini panic spell and the feeling was still kind of there for a bit. a-and not answering worried sannie so he came back home.
"and since then sannie and i have just been staying in and cuddling and such honestly... we went out for breakfast a couple days but otherwise we've mostly stayed in because i just really missed him.
"a-and today i really wanted to make this place look good for you two, so sannie helped me clean everything up and went grocery shopping for us while i finished things up."
"sounds like you had some fun, youngie," yeosang commented. "i'm glad to hear things went well."
"i-i was nervous... but i did it and i'm proud."
"we're all so proud of you too, woo," seonghwa said sweetly.
wooyoung smiled small and cuddled into san's embrace, getting a bit shy. the older smiled seeing this, looking at the other two for a moment.
"how about sangie and i make dinner tonight? and then after, you can let us know what your plan for the night is."
"okay," wooyoung said, nodded slightly.
"do you want to watch a movie or something now?"
wooyoung shook his head, cuddling closer to san and closing his eyes for a moment,
"wanna go back to my room and cuddle... want a small space right now..."
sangie nodded first at this, kissing wooyoung's head.
"go ahead, youngie. just keep resting for us."
wooyoung quickly agreed and brought san back to his room, the two cuddling close and sitting in silence for a while. it was almost an hour before either of them said anything, and even then, they kept things quiet.
"thank you for everything you do for me, sannie... i love you."
"and i love you more... i'm glad we talked with hwa and sangie about that too... it's good for you."
wooyoung hummed a bit, smiling slightly as he nodded his head against san's chest.
"you're doing well, woo. you really are."
-
what if i told you that i've written up to chapter 91 🤭
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begin again | woosan
Fanfiction"i didn't think i'd ever feel safe again..." "do you feel safe now?" "choi san... you make me feel safer than i ever have in my life." - in which wooyoung has recently gotten out of an abusive relationship and struggles with finding the feeling of s...
