✮𝓑𝓲𝓵𝓵 & 𝓽𝓸𝓶 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓼✮

028

It's Christmas time full of joy and laughter , the sounds of children's laughter echoing through houses and streets. It's a time of peace and love a time to get together with the family share a traditional meal and see what Santa has left under the tree, the bells from the town ring as the clock struck 12:00am officially Christmas Day . The houses was decorated in holly and mistletoe bright colourful lights surrounding the houses roof indoor and outdoor , a huge Christmas tree beautifully decorated in the living room close but not to close to the fire place where the stockings hung above with each individuals name full with all sorts of treats such as candy canes to chocolate and even mini surprises . Christmas time was a beautiful time seeing the family's share their prayers and share their food and love making me realise I'll never have what they have.

I woke up around 9:00am on Christmas Day my mother and farther was still fast asleep in the next room my siblings asleep also , I head downstairs to make a coffee to my surprise our house is empty there is no more Christmas spirit just empty decorations I can't feel no love hope or joy in the house for me anyway. My parents and siblings came down the stairs the children of course rubbing with pure excitement and joy living in the moment followed by my mother who had a smile plastered on her face followed by her husband with his arm around her with a smile heading straight to the living room they had emptied the stockings ripped open presents leaving a huge pile of paper and bows to aside whilst I stood in the kitchen watching . I left the kitchen and leafy the house surprise no one even noticed I was gone .

I left the house and wandered down the quiet slightly dark still streets as I walked by house and house to see each one filled with Christmas spirit, love , hope and joy smiles everywhere and family photos i continue down the street rolling my eyes I see more with their fires blazing and music blaring full of Christmas cheers . I used to be just like them full of joy and love and everything wonderful eye full of hope and wonder a smile as bright as the shining starts but it changed one Christmas I no longer felt that same love or hope or joy on Christmas as I once did I just felt a great darkness , emptiness and despair , I felt isolated alone. My parents never seemed to notice how I was acting or feeling they placed all their attention on to my siblings.

I continued down the street everywhere I looked I saw him in everything he was such a hopeful person he was the one who gave me hope , love and joy he is the one who gave me life. He was in every think I walked by in the stars , in the music in the air even . I loved him . I needed him.
But he's gone I cried for him every day and night for hours until I fell asleep , I still cry for him now . He was the one thing my life needed he was like glue he put my life together but of course it came to an end too soon he was gone too soon.
It was Christmas Day 2005 me and him was best friends since childbirth eventually we even got together he asked me out in the most romantic way we was together for years but Christmas night , I invited him round to celebrate with us for dinner and wine but as he was on his way a heavy snow storm hit hard in our town and he never showed I started to get worried as hours past by until when I switched the tv on I saw later on the news the storm was that bad a guy had lost control couldn't see and crashed into a tree. I always blame myself for his death because if I didn't invite him or actually watched the news he would still be alive today but I didn't .

I felt tears fall from my face as I threw my head down and crossed my arms across my chest seeing all these happy families hurt , I decided to head back so I walked back through the town avoiding looking at happy families. I kept my head down as it began to snow I cried harder because his last words to me the night before was 'if I ever die at Christmas time I'll make it snow just for you ' . At that moment I just slumped down on the path side under the lamp post I was so angry yet hurt I started cry screaming hitting the ground causing my hands to bleed and scrape till I felt someone grab my hands preventing me from hitting the ground , I look up with blurry eyes just making out someone crouching down at the same level of me holding my hands to prevent me from doing further damage . The mysterious person pulled me into a hug it felt warm I felt safe some how ? He was a slim build but I could feel his muscles through his shirt , I could hear his heart beat slow but normal . His grip was tight but gentle , I put my head into my hands crying more as my hands was bleeding . "Don't cry Laya " his voice was gentle and calm I felt as though I knew him his voice was like an angelic angel, he knew my name ? I didn't care at this point I just didn't want him to let go he makes me feel some way that's been missing from me all these years . I look up and see ..him? No way he died years ago ? It was on the news ...? .

I jump up taking a step back I froze from horror "Laya.." he said in a sweet tone "no you died years go from the snow storm " I said crying . He came closer to me arms open I felt as though I was in some hell loop I couldn't tell what's real is this even real or am I hallucinating? My heart sunk it even skipped beats I could feel my breathing increase as my body began to shake . "Your not real you died " I said waving my hands in front of me as he reached out to grab them slowly placing them down . "Laya I'm real it's me" he said softly I refused to believe it after all these years ? No . "Listen Laya I know you all thought I was dead and the news pronounced it however it's not the case " he said arms still open hoping I'd believe him "no way I don't believe you if it's true why show up now why not tell me it's been years " I said sobbing my heart out to this guy claiming to be him "it started when you invited me out for dinner I was on my way when the storm began getting worse it became a total blizzard the snow was blocking the window screen when I saw bright lights heading my way but I couldn't see where I or the lights was from , just then as it got closer I skidded of the roads I lost control hitting a tree I thought I was for sure dead . But just then as everything was going blurry a man hoisted me out from the upside down car wreck he took me to the hospital where I stayed for a week however I couldn't remember a thing I had amnesia for years . I decided to stay where I was and made a life there but the other day I got my memories back and I for sure thought you wouldn't be living here anymore but I was wrong and that's when I saw you there" he said with such a genuine tone of voice , do I believe him?

"It's really you bill? " I said tearing up "you dick you left me " I screamed banging on his chest but not hard enough to hurt him he pulled me into such a tight hug placing his hand on the back of my head the other round my waist securing me tight , "don't leave me ever again bill I love you" I said tightening my arms around his waist . "I love you Laya " he said pulling me into a kiss without realising we are below mistletoe, we stood there in the middle of the street not letting the other go "I missed you bill I really though you was gone " I said looking up " I know Laya I'm really sorry it won't happen again " he said his eyes was genuine pure love romed through his beautiful eyes , his style never changed his hearts still as big as I remember. We walked back to my place he filled me with hope again with joy and love I feel the happiness refill again I no longer feel that emptiness anymore , I'm whole again.

We walked through my house door I can instantly feel the Christmas spirit flow through my veins through my whole body , I'm truly home again . Im truly me again . I have my bill back again the one live I've ever had .
"Merry Christmas everyone " I said as I locked eyes with bill as we locked lips . "I'll never leave you again my gorgeous love " bill said with a beautiful shining smile .