Lost Between Worlds

Forty-One

BB held Grants hands, as the spell to break their marriage bond was done. She hurt so fucking much at the thought of it all. She lost her family, one by one, falling into darkness, and the only shining lights she had, were Grant and Loki, but now she was losing him too. She wouldn't be the one responsible for his pain, she didn't want to be.

She had lost the people she cared about, not by choice, but him, he wanted to leave her, leave their daughter and go back to a world where there was a carbon copy of the first woman he loved. As much as she wanted him to stay, his happiness was more important that what she wanted.

Feeling a wave of magic wash over her, she sighed, pulling her hands free, knowing it was done. She couldn't help but wonder, if her Loki was really in love with her, or just loved her for what she gave him.

'I seriously need a drink..'.. She shook her head. No, now that she was free of the marriage, what she really needed, was sex. She abided by her vows, never once being with anyone else. She had gone years without sex, and maybe it was time to celebrate her freedom.

'Charley..'.. She let out a defeated breath, rolling her eyes, knowing he was right behind her as she headed into the kitchen... 'Can we ta-..'

'No..'.. She cut him off... 'The only words that we need to say to one another, is when we play nice for Evie. When shes not around, go fuck yourself..'.. She reached up into the cabinet above the fridge freezer, grabbing the ale, and then to the glass cupboard, to get a shot glass.

'Charley..'.. He sighed, running a hand through his hair... 'Can you honestly say you were ever in love with me?..'

She slammed the glass and decanter down as she turned to him... 'That fact that you're even asking shows that you never even knew me. Uncle Buck, gramps, uncle D, they told me stories of who you were before you fell, I didn't love that man. It was who you were when I woke you up. Aside from Peter, you were the first one to really see me. You didn't judge me, or look at me with disgust..'.. BB shook her head.

'I fell in love with you, the day you fixed me up after the gang..'.. She knew he understood... 'You didn't pity me, for what they did, instead, you kissed every mark they made on me, cared for me, and took the pain away. I loved you then, and I love you now..'.. She didn't care that the rest of the team could hear every word... 'So yeah, I'm still in love with you. But I love you enough, to let you go. I don't want to ever be someones second choice. I don't want you to be here out of obligation. You deserve to be happy, after everything..'.. Her voice becan shaky, knowing tears were threatening to fall.

'You deserve to have the love you want, and thats not with me. Just..'.. She came around, hugging him tight... 'Just make sure, that when you go back, you find your happiness, and hold onto it. Don't let it go..'

'I do love you Charley, I need you to know that..'.. He kissed the side of her head, holding her.

'I do know. I promise I won't stop until I find a way to send you back, no matter what it takes..'.. She pulled back, and wiped her face... 'Fuck, I need to get black out drunk, I'm too depressed for this shit..'

Grant smiled, shaking his head. That was her way of saying, no more emotional shit... 'I know one way of distracting you from it all..'

'Don't even go there..'.. She pointed at him, before picking up the decanter and her glass.

'You're single again. I remember how much you enjoyed ha-..'.. He chuckled as she disappeared from in front of him.

'Really man? You going to bring that up?..'.. Big Peter sighed, as Grant turned around, seeing everyone trying to talk without it being obvious that they saw and heard the conversation between him and Charley.

Grant folded his arms, smirking at Peter... 'Tell me you don't miss it?..'

'Don't do that either. She doesn't want it brought up, otherwise she would've said something by now..'... Peter stood, and headed out.

'So you do miss it?..'.. Grant called after him, and was rewarded with a middle finger, making him laugh.

'You have got to be the most idiotic person I've ever met..'.. Bucky shook his head... 'You got a second chance to have a life with your family, and you're throwing it all away for Carter? One who's not even the same?..'

'I know you all don't get it, bu-..'

'Honestly, if Peggy was ever in front of me, right now, I'd still choose Maria..'.. Steve nodded to his woman, seeing her smile... 'One kiss with a woman, dozens of years ago, is nothing. She only showed interest after I had the serum. Maria, she sees the real me, she's been there in my darkest moments, the nightmares. I know without a doubt, she loves me, for who I am, not the man everyone expects me to be..'

'And that's you, I admire that Rogers but that's not me..'.. Grant shook his head... 'I didn't get the closure you had, and I know I have no right to say this to you all, but I know, I have always been in love with Peggy. I hated that I missed everything with her, that my best friend got the life I wanted. Didn't hate them, just..'.. He sighed... 'I never did fit into the future, I am, and always will be, that little guy from Brooklyn, in love with an agent..'

'I seriously can't listen to any more of this..'.. Nat stood up, and looked around... 'We need to blow off some steam. Club?..'.. A few agreed, and they headed out to go get ready.

'I cannot imagine how much pain she is in right now..'.. Loki spoke up, to those remaining... 'She lost her blood family, and those closest to her. She finds hope and love in you, and your Loki, a new family, only to lose every one of you..'.. Loki stood up... 'Yet you are the only one she has the chance to say goodbye to, she never got the chance with the others. I can understand why she harms herself, that kind of emotional pain, is worse than all the tortures she could endure..'

Steve smirked, as Loki headed out of the room and he clapped his hands to his thighs, standing up and nodding to Bucky... 'I think a club is a great idea. Want to go find her?..'.. Bucky smirked back at him, and headed out, leaving Steve with Grant.

'You can take care of Evie tonight. BB needs a night off from everything, and considering you'll be leaving, it's best to get as much time in with your daughter before you go, if only for her sake..'.. Steve headed out after the others, and shook his head. He couldn't believe his darkness half would ever abandon his child, regardless of whether she was blood or not.

Steve would never do that. Evie may not be his at all, but she was now family, as was BB. He would make sure the two had everything they needed, as this was their home now. He was sure the rest of the team felt the same. He did adore BB, love her like family, but he was completely, irrevocably in love with Maria. She understood him, better than he did himself. He was thankful BB gave him a replica of his mother's ring, in time, he would make sure it would sit pride of place, on Maria's hand.

😘