Regret Me

Strain

"And then when I told them I was moving out, he told me not to come back home," Natasha explained with an amused smile as she flayed her sandwich around.

We were sat in the café, we had our first coffee together, having lunch. She was sitting opposite me with a double cheese toastie and a packet of stale steak crisps, using her sandwich-eating hand to speak with. I smiled as I watched her explain this story of her life, the whole time, my foot hooked with hers under the table. Tracing the shape of her lower leg slowly, I could feel her stiffening under my touch, nervousness taking over her. She was currently telling me about why she moved away from Russia and to New York.

"He was never the nicest guy but still ... he was my dad, you know?" she nodded.

"I'm sorry," I smiled genuinely, "you deserve more than that."

"Yeah well, what are you gonna do," she replied, "I wanna hear about your family, I've been talking at you for the past 20 minutes and you've just been smiling at me."

"I love watching you talk," I smiled.

"Tell me about your family you creep," she giggled, biting into her now cold sandwich.

"I'm very lucky," I started, "Mum and Dad have always been very supportive of me and who I am, and my younger brother is the same. He didn't have the best time growing up but he's doing really well for himself now. He's doing this astrophysical study in a space plant in Scotland."

"That's so cool," she beamed, "your parents produced two very cool kids."

"Thank you," I sang with a proud laugh.

"Do you miss them?" she pushed.

I nodded, "I'm quite used to living with other people so it's weird now that I'm on my own. Don't get me wrong, I like it, it's just a big change."

"So, you moved out when you were?"

"I was 18," I finished, "I moved in with my best friend when I started University and we lived together until we graduated. She had a baby and moved in with her boyfriend and I moved in with my girlfriend at the time."

"What happened to her then?" Natasha pushed.

"She cheated on me," I smiled sadly, swirling around the liquid in my coffee cup.

"Idiot," Nat concluded.

"Exactly," I laughed, "after Lizzie, I lived on my own for about a year and a half and then I met Vanessa and we lived with each other until last week actually."

"Fuck, that's a long-ass relationship," she replied.

I nodded quickly, "five years."

"Damn ... so who is Y/N when she's not someone's girlfriend?" she asked me.

"I don't know," I replied honestly, "I think I'm still getting to know her."

"She's pretty cool," Nat smiled, nudging my foot under the table, "at least, I think so."

"Thank you," I smirked, sipping my drink, "have you been in any serious relationships?"

She hummed an unsure yes, "kind of? There's this girl I've worked with since working under Stark, but I don't think we're good for each other."

"How comes?" I asked.

"We've both got our own shit and it got in the way ... wasn't meant to be, I guess," she nodded.

"Do you mind if I ask what you're looking for at this moment? A relationship? A bit of fun?" I added.

She shrugged her shoulders as she finished her food, "you seem like fun, and I want to get to know you more ... I don't really have a plan on what I want, I'm just going with the flow."