Regret Me

Blue

Lizzie's POV

New York is so very cold in comparison to LA. My house, my New York house, was fucking freezing when I opened the front door. So much so that I felt my nose going red and the tips of my fingers going blue.

Dropping my bag on the floor in the entranceway, I quickly switched on the heating and popped down the kettle and I looked around my very quiet and empty house. My first task was to take down all the photos of Robbie and myself from every single fucking room in the house. The huge canvas collage from our holiday a few years ago was the first thing that needed to go. As the kettle popped, I looked over at the photos; Robbie's face next to mine, my hand in his and smiles painted on both of our faces. That was before it got bad. Before the late-night shouting turned to daytime shouting, before I started sleeping on the sofa, before he would go out for days at a time, before he even thought about laying a violent hand on me.

With my thoughts loud and my tea in my hand, I sat and stared at photos of Robbie and me until I started crying. Then I sat with a coffee and cried some more. I cried listening to Joni Mitchell and I cried washing the bed sheets that still had the smell of Robbie's cologne on them. I cried again when I unboxed the two boxes that I bought from LA in my car. I cried at lunch and again when I called Y/N and it went to voicemail. I basically cried all day until I literally couldn't cry anymore.

Y/N Y/L/N
Hey love, I only just saw your missed call! How's your day? x

*changed contact name to Y/N/N*

Smiling to myself, I sat down in bed, under the duvet and picked up my phone. The photo of her in bed last night, lighting up my screen as I clicked on her message. Without hesitation, I dialled her number, a big smile on my face. It rang and rang and rang until she ended it. My brows burrowed and I bought my phone down to my lap, opening her contact again.

Y/N/N
I'm in a meeting x

Lizzie
You should not be messaging me then

Y/N/N
I missed you

Lizzie
I miss you too, call me after work? x

Y/N/N
Without question
How has your day been? x

Lizzie
Between the crying? All right I guess.

*Y/N/N is typing*

*incoming call from Y/N/N*

Furrowing my brows, I clicked answer and out the phone to my ear.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing she asked in a quiet voice laced with worry.

"Yeah?" I asked, a little confused.

"You said you'd been crying," she replied.

"You said you were in a meeting," I threw back.

"I was, I am, I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I stepped out for a minute," she admitted.

"I'm okay, I didn't mean to worry you," I mumbled, picking at the bottom of my jumper.

"Can I come over after work? I'll feed you?" she asked.

"You don't have to, I'm okay honestly," I sighed, "I'm okay."

"I'll be there at half five with Chinese food," she replied quickly.

"Y/N/N, I'm honestly all right babe," I nodded.