Regret Me

The River

Y/N's POV

As people began to arrive for our hen do, I kept my hand firmly on Lizzie's waist as I could sense her anxiety not lessening despite how much she was trying to push it down. MK being the only other sober one, noticed it too and when everyone was distracted, slightly tipsy and playing cards, I left Lizzie's side to sit next to her older sister.

"Hey," MK smiled, "you both look really pretty tonight."

"Thanks," I smiled back, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Lizzie's not okay; is she?" she asked me quietly.

I shook my head but didn't say anything more.

"Did you guys have an argument? Is that why you haven't left her side since we arrived?" she pushed.

I shook my head again, picking it up and smiling at her sadly, "how much has she told you?"

"About ... what?" MK laughed slightly awkwardly in confusion.

I looked back over to my fiancé laughing about something Scarlet had just whispered to her and then looked back at MK, certain that whatever we were talking about wouldn't be overheard right now.

"We lost a baby," I smiled sadly.

"What?" she exhaled, her eyes saddening, "when?"

"End of June," I nodded slowly, "only two people knew we were pregnant, so we didn't need to make a big announcement but that's why she's upset. The past six months have been fucking awful and I think having everyone together is bringing it all up again."

"Oh," MK whispered, looking at her sister and then back at me, "and you? How are you? Because Lizzie looks like she's not going to remember why she's upset in approximately 2 shots."

"I'm getting there," I admitted, "we've just kind of been dragging each other through each day but it's getting easier. It's just- we would've been full term soon so it's- I don't know ... I'm honestly not sure how I'm going to keep it together tonight without a drink."

"You're gonna get through it with me," she smiled softly, grabbing my hand and squeezing it, "we're both sober and nothing's going to break that, all right? We've been clean for too long to let one night ruin it."

I exhaled shakily and nodded, "I'll be fine, I'm more worried about Lizard."

"You put her above yourself a lot of the time, maybe it's time to put yourself first?" she suggested.

I hummed and nodded, looking back at Lizzie who was smiling over at me. I gave her a subtle wink and she attempted to wink back but instead just blinked at me. Laughing out my nose, I squeezed MK's hand and stood up, walking back to my girl.

"Hey, there you are," Scarlet beamed, "I was just about to order the Uber, are you ready?"

"Yeah," I smiled softly, reaching to Lizzie's hands and pulling her up as she huffed, "hey gorgeous, how are you doing?"

"I feel brilliant actually ... on top of the world," she smiled back at me, "I love you; you know that?"

"Yeah, I know," I giggled, pecking her lips a few times, "I love you too."

"I know," she smirked, copying my words as I slipped on my jacket and helped her put hers on too.

"Ubers here, is everyone ready?"

I looked around at the room of girls who meant the most to both Lizzie and me and subconsciously smiled. Vanessa was dressed in a little black, backless t-shirt and a low waist, long, black satin skirt with her natural hair hanging down by her ears, a drunken glow on her cheeks. Scarlet wore a long, tight-fitting, knitted cream dress that swooped at her breasts and like Ness, her hair was in its natural brunette waves. Monica on the other hand decided a little black dress was most fitting for the occasion to match her short afro and dark eyeshadow. The twins opted for a practically matching midi dress just in different colours. MK was in a dark green while Ashley was in a dark blue to 'hide her baby fat'. Aubrey, unlike the rest of us, was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a satin corset top with a tinted red in her hair that matched Clay's burgundy trousers and wide-neck black satin shirt. We were a pretty attractive group of people all in all. Slowly we all filtered into the disproportionally long Uber, all sitting on top of each other with Lizzie's head on my shoulder.