Regret Me

Stick Season

"Yeah ... no, I know ... what do you think I should do?" Lizzie spoke on the phone to her manager the following morning.

As soon as she woke up and picked up her phone, she saw the article that was going viral on Twitter. Resting her back against the headboard of my bed, she was dressed in one of my oversized hoodies and had her knees bent up, one of her hands in mine and the other holding her phone to her ear. I gently ran my thumb over the back of her hand as I sat next to her, wearing a tank top, the duvet covering the rest of my body and my hair pulled into a messy claw-clipped style, my eyes remaining on Lizzie's facial features ad their reaction to whatever was being said on the other side of the phone call.

"I don't know if I'm ready to do that yet ... I know, I know ... no, of course I want to be in control of it but- ... okay ... do you think we can hold it off until South by Southwest?" she asked, "mhm, okay ... thank you ... okay, bye."

"Well?" I pushed, squeezing her hand lightly.

"I'm going to do an interview with James Corden after the Love & Death premiere," she explained, looking over at me with a sad smile.

"You know it's December and the premiere is in April?" I replied slowly.

She nodded, "I don't want to do it yet ... you're going to be with me at the premiere so people will see you and it just makes the most sense to do the interview after that."

"What if that choice is taken out of your hands?" I raised.

She hummed and nodded again, "my manager said that."

"And?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, "are you going to be mad at me if I deny the rumours for now?"

"What if you just don't say anything," I suggested.

"Then I'm saying something, aren't I?" she sighed.

"So, you want to deny my existence? What if Robbie tells the media you're separating?" I asked.

She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, leaning her head backwards against the headrest, "I don't know what to do Y/N/N. I want to tell the world about you, but I'm so scared of how people are going to react. I don't want to be treated any differently just because of who I love."

"There's going to be more articles about us before April," I sighed.

"I know," she whispered, "okay ... I'm not going to deny the rumours. I'm going to ignore it and if you get identified before SXSW, I will speak out about it ... I'll post something online."

"Yeah?" I asked, a small smile on my lips.

She hummed a yes and opened her eyes again, looking over at me, "I'm sorry if you feel like I'm not proud to be with you, I just don't want to drag you into this world you didn't sign up for and for you to get all this hate-"

"Your world is my world," I corrected her, "I want to be involved and I want to experience everything you experience."

"You say that now," Lizzie sighed.

"I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon so let me be part of your world," I smiled.

"My fans are going to love you," she replied quietly.

"I know," I smirked, kissing the back of her hand, "I'm very cool, so that makes sense."

"And you're not full of yourself at all," she giggled.

I hummed a yes and leaned backwards.

"What are your plans today?" she asked me.

"I was thinking about going shopping with Vanessa. It's her first time in New York so I might take her to all the touristy places, if that's all right with you?" I replied.