Regret Me

Clear

"So, we're all go-ahead for the corporate get-together with appetisers and media attention? It would be great if we could get a panel of people to attend and maybe partners as well. All clear?" some random white man spoke from the head of the table at this really bizarre meeting.

We all nodded.

I don't think anyone was really listening, to be honest. The woman next to me was reading a book under the desk, and the man opposite me was watching the birds out the window. Another girl to my left was picking the paint off her nails, and me? I was thinking about lunch. I had been hungry for the past 2 hours, but I didn't want to pull the cereal bar out of my bag mid-meeting, so I sat and handled it like a trooper. Someone came in with coffee about 45 minutes ago so I'm having a minor caffeine rush: shaky hands and everything. I looked like I was on coke, I'm not going to lie to you. And not Coca-Cola ... straight-up white powder in a small bag. I wasn't of course but my wide eyes said otherwise. As soon as the first person started packing up their things, all of us slowly moved to pack our own like we were scared the man taking this meeting was a fucking dinosaur and would sense any fast movement and take our heads off.

"Okay fantastic, I'll email all the details ... you're free to go," he nodded, packing his own stuff up as he spoke.

When I say I ran out of that room, I'm not even exaggerating. When I reached my car, I was out of breath and sat there looking around at the parking lot. Work had very kindly given me a car because apparently rocking up to big meetings in New York on a motorbike wasn't very professional. I get it of course but now I'm having to get used to driving around a Tesla which makes no noise on the road, so I don't even know if the engine is turned on properly but if you get given a free Tesla, you don't complain. You adapt and overcome and put shit into perspective.

Mass murder across the world – Londoner in New York driving a Tesla.

Like I said, perspective.

Perspective, today, seemed like the perfect word.

As I drove through the busy streets of New York, my radio switched itself on and started playing my disco mix. This disco mix was purely made of the songs that Lizzie told me were in her new show Love & Death which was coming out in a few months. So, with Lizzie in mind, I danced in my seat to Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton, singing the few lyrics I knew.

Midnight, and I'm a-waiting on the twelve-oh-five
Hoping it'll take me just a little farther down the line
Moonlight, you're just a heartache in disguise
Won't you keep my heart from breaking,
If it's only for a very short time?

Playing with the Queen of Hearts
Knowing it ain't really smart
The Joker ain't the only fool
Who'll do anything for you?
Laying out another lie
Thinking 'bout a life of crime
Cause that's what I'll have to do
To keep me away from you.

Cutting my music off, my phone started ringing through the car speakers. I clicked answer and kept my eyes on the road.

"Y/N Y/L/N," I spoke.

"Elizabeth Olsen," she smirked.

"Well, hello there," I smiled, "I was just listening to the playlist from Love & Death."

"Cute," she reflected, "how has your day been so far?"

"It's been all right," I yawned, "I had a big meeting this morning and pretty much dozed off about 2 hours ago."

"I don't know who put you in charge of a publishing house," she laughed, "big mistakes."

"I'll have you know I'm very good at my job," I giggled.