Batman Oneshots/Imagines

Not My Type (Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane x Reader)

Sitting in a room with two of my best friends, Harley and Selina, I'd like to say that we are having the time of our lives. But we aren't. We are playing a very boring game of Go Fish! and it's almost cringe worthy.

"Does anyone have a three?" Selina asks in an overly sarcastic voice. A black cat sleeps on her lap as she pets it slowly. It's a cute cat, with green eyes and white paws.

"No," Harley and I say at the same time. Selina fishes for cards. It is very boring and I give up. I throw my cards down and throw my hands in the air out of frustration.

"This is so boring!" I say.

Selina sets down her cards. She was winning so far. Harley huffs in annoyance. "I miss Mr. J," she says.

"He's out with the boys. Y'know, doing whatever those losers do."

"Mr. J is not a loser! You're little ex-boyfriend is the loser," Harley says in defence and she sticks her tongue out at me. I laugh.

"I can't believe you dated Jonathan," Selina gags. Yes, I've dated the one and only Jonathan Crane, Master of Fear. It wasn't for long. I mean, if two years isn't long for you. But when I think back to it, the memories go by fast and I can hardly remember why I even started to date him.

"Hey. At the time, I was lonely and-"

"Excuses! You had the biggest crush on him, it was almost weird."

"Emphasis on almost? But hey, it's not a crime to have crushes on cute guys," I smirk and lean back on the chair I sit on. "Harley's in love with a maniac but nobody complains."

"Don't try to change the subject. Besides, Harley will literally destroy you and make you wish you were dead if you tried to separate her from Joker," Selina chuckles and stares at me. I shrug.

"You guys won't believe what I just witnessed," Pamela walks in the room, clapping her hands with excitement. Harley smiles when she sees Pamela's excitement

"A plant grew a leaf?!"

"No, but that would be great."

"What, then?" I say, picking at my fingernails.

"Your sister, with Jonathan."

"So what?" I squint, wondering why she's telling me this. My sister has met Jonathan, but off the bat she didn't like him. She's told me. I have proof. She's pointed out all the things she hated about him but I was dating him then so I didn't even care.

"That isn't all. They're dating!"

"What?!"

It wasn't me who screamed. It was Selina but soon enough she stared to laugh. I feel chills going down my spine and I want to vomit. What if they get married? What if they have kids?! My ex-boyfriend will be my brother-in-law! Disgusting! Horrific!

"(Y/N), are you okay?" Pamela asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie. I really want to say that I want to punch my sister in the face for being a hypocrite and slap Jonathan for dating my sister (who is, like, five years younger than him).

"Are you sure?"

"Oh who am I kidding?! My ex-boyfriend's going to be my brother-in-law and his children are going to be my niece's or nephews! Just seeing them in the same room is going to make me vomit," I want to scream these words but I only speak in a calm voice.

"Let's go confront him, then!" Harley giggles and before I even get a chance to decline, I'm already out the door.

This is crazy. Psychotic. Is my brain even working properly? Am I functioning like a normal human being? But I'm sure being with Gotham criminals isn't going to give me a positive answer to that question. I want to back out, I do. But I also want to see the horrific scene of my sister kissing Jonathan. It's not going to be a fun time, but I'll have fun throwing darts into the pictures I still had of him.