You are the only one.... ×Book 2×

11. A promise that can't be kept...

~The next day~

I couldn't sleep.

I'm not sure why; I just...couldn't.

We had returned to Konoha and Kakashi Sensei was sent immediately to the hospital; due to his condition after that bomb hit him. We reported our success to Tsunade and she nodded before telling everyone to leave then asking Naruto and I how things went.

Naturally, I lied. I told her Naruto had indeed went into a rage and I used the seal on him to calm him down. She once again nodded, but I knew she didn't believe me...she knows me so well and I hate that.

I hate the fact that she knows my true feelings...

I hate the fact that's she knows my secret...

I hate it....

~Flashback~

I sat up in bed and stared at the Kunai in my hand. The birds outside were chirping happily as the sun glared down at the Earth; spreading its heat and warmth everywhere; even though it was a cold December morning.

"What's the point of being happy" I muttered to myself moving the Kunai closer to my wrist.

1....

The dark crimson color I'm so accustomed to seeing spread across my wrist and down my arm as it quietly pattered against the floor.

"What's the point of living?"

2....

Blood was flowing heavily from both wrist now and I simply watched it. Admiring how the deep crimson, almost purple, red mixed in with the dark mahogany wood floor.

Why do I do this to myself...?

3....

Why do I enjoy it...?

4....

'Ruka' Kinase begged 'please stop doing this.'

5....

I can't stop...I like this...

6....

It feels good...so good...

Before I could make the seventh cut, the Kunai fell from my hand and clattered to the floor loudly, as my vision got blurry; from lost of blood.

Why do I suffer like this...?

Why am I so alone....?

Why do I like the feeling of the cold, metal blade slicing across my fragile skin...?

My bedroom door opened and seconds later Ryuku came in and grabbed my wrist.

"Damn it Ruka!" He said angrily as tears clouded his eyes "why do you always do this?!"

His voice sounded faint and a greenish glow spread across his hands as he began healing me. I remained quiet and let him heal me.