Loyal Love (Kaisoo)

Chapter 23 : Losing

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35

i counted the drops of etrlefrin
that went into my glass as i was sitting in the back of the caffee . it was already closed but i decided to work some extra houres since it was my third day i was allowed to and i realy didnt want to go home

the last drop fell and i looked at the glass. i should only take them like .. wait how many times a day .

i pull my sleeves up a little seeing the list of my medicine drawn onto my skin with edding .well only onto the spots that werent wounded .
my wounds on my finger have been healing but where still there .and i knew they would leave a pretty scar ..

etrlefrin -> 2-3 daily (32 - 48)

and how often did i take them today ..

fuck . i dont remeber .

ACE-hemmer ->every week (1,5) more-> 2x10

diuretika -> (2×20-40)| 2x

ald.. - an..-> (100mg) d. -> 400 mg ]

Digitalis

,, digitalis .." i whisper to myself thinking as i squinted to read how much i need of it .
but i couldnt read it . it was unclear .

3x ... no 8x..

,, stupid .. " i cursed as i quick swollowed down the etrlefrin before i grabbed into my bag .. i didnt take a medicine with D  today, what is that again ?

,, shit .. you stupid little fucking what are you ?? why ? i feel fine what do you fucking piece of shit " i kept whispering cursing like an idiot as i now sat onto the ground grabbing through everything in my bag . i felt so angry and i didnt know why .if i forgot that medicin and it was important . i could... i dont know what i dont fucking remeber .

there ! i found it .. a little glass can

digitalis

now how fucking much of this shit do i need
ingridiants ... med .. what ?

i cant read it .. my visions too bad for those little words .

i started coughing and the can slipped out of my hands rolling away on the ground
,, no no no no ! .. " i quieckly followed it searching around on the ground .under the tables and seatbanks.
where is it ?? what ? it was just there a second ago ! or was it ?

i groaned in frustration as i cough again sitting back .onto my knees .

i sighed looking onto the ground .
why ? it feels like a constant fight .a fight for nothing with nothing . its like leading war with zero men . a war that you know you couldnt win in a 1000 years .

i'm tired mum. how often do i have to tell you this i feel so fucking done every fucking day yet i'm also too weak and too pathetic to just .. urgh!  .

how often did i come to you like this .i know that i'm pathetic and the only reason why i was still here is probably because not even the devil or god .
or you want me right now .

love betrayed us anyway am i right?

i rose my eyes again as the can was suddenly placed besides me .

,, digitalis .. 3x0,4 mg 3 times a day " i blinked with wide eyes up at him as he said that .

,, how did you ?.."