Loyal Love (Kaisoo)

Chapter 51 : Surprise

i hummed as i slowly opened my eyes . feeling rather drowsy like i was half dreaming and half awake .

i just started to turn my head

,, kyungie" a voice called but i decided to ignore it .
,, kyungie "

2 hands stoped my head from moving and i now cracked my eyes more open .
to see baekhyuns eyes.

i released a breath noticing that i wore that stupid mask again .
i was still tired tho .. but wheres jongin .

behind baekhyun there was only chanyeol .

do i seriously have to start from the beginning again . i was sick of the hospital .

so i grabbed his hands and pushed myself with his help up into sitting position as i got the mask off me .

chanyeol instandly handed me the board with a pencil .

but i decided against it as i stared at the board and the pencil .

i've just felt like i've had enough of it all . i felt the urge to cut again but most importantly i wanted to use my voice again and talk .

so it was as i took a breath
,, j .. jong ... j " i cant my throat hurts and my lungs burns for that my voice hasnt been used in so long .so i cleard my throat .
but it hurt and tears stung my eyes because of it

does this mean i cant ever talk properly again !?

a hand appeard on mine and i glanced up at baekhyun and chanyeol besides him .they smiled at me .so brightly and i didnt know why it shocked me to see them so happy over the ugly few sounds i made.

{♡}-{-}-{-}-{-}-{-}         {♢}♢{♢}♢{♢}♢{♢}

,, but he's ok ? " i asked chanyeol on the phone .

,, well baek is with him and .. well .." i noticed his hesistant voice and a bad feeling crept its way up .

,, what ?" i asked curiously and he sighed on the other end of the line .

,, well he tried to talk when he woke up and .. i'm not sure but.. jongin ,he was probably looking for you ,just tell me what happened . why arent you coming here . i mean i get that its a hard time right now but kyungsoo has been getting better like pretty quieckly an-"
,, yeah thats why i dont want to ruin it again !" i quieckly cut him off to make him stop making me feel more guilty because i wasnt .
i didnt do anything wrong

,, jongin .. just " he sighed frustrated and i guess he was running his hand through his hair .
,, i just dont know what to say other then .. 'are you stupid?' "

i swollowed at that because that was probably the last thing i expected him to say .
,, what ?" i moreover whisperd than spoke .

,, dont you realize that you need each other ? , i get that you're going through some shit but kyungsoo went kinda through the same thing too , his mother died remember only did he lose her by suicide despite that ,he's been suffering since then and i think this is like a point for him where he gives up . for fucks sake jongin , you need someone who understands you and he needs someone to be there for hi-"
,, why dont you 2 be there for him then?"
,, because he doesnt fucking love us the way he loves you ! he didnt try to say chan or baek when he woke up, he tried to say jongin "