Chapter 21 : I didnt know

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,, i told you to fucking clean the coners aswell !" my stepdad yelled as i was already on my knees staring at the ground to not anger him more .

,, i did but seungsoo ate cak-"
,, dont blame others for you stupidy !"

i flinched when he cut me off
,, i'm sorry "

,, not good enough !" he hiccuped as he kicked me and i fell to the side but quieckly got to my knees again .

,, you've been nothing but a weak whiny bitch lately ! do you think i dont notice when you fall asleep while cleaning !? do you think i dont notice how you always pant even tho you havent done shit !" he kept yelling but i just squeezed my eyes i didnt want to hear his words .

,, sometimes i wish . you would finally faint and die ! you're so useless how could god have created you ! trash ! you hear me . trash trash trash !! TRASH !" he kept yelling and i squeezed my eyes tighter . as he threw one of his bottles at me. but i managed to swollow my painful reaction since my back was as always beaten bloody .

but when he threw the other onto the ground before me .i screamed as it broke and cut my hands and already wounded fingers.

,, kyungsoo " the voice of my teacher made me blink .it sounded strict and firm
,, are you even listning ? " trash ..
"trash!"
,, yeah " i answerd unconciously ..
how did i end up here?i was just at home and my fingers .

i looked around me seeing the classrom . empty . i saw an emoty classroom .. what just happened i was and .. and my stepdad .. and

there was only me standing in front of the teachers table .in an empty classroom

she continued talking but i didnt listen .. why am i here ? where is he ? .. i looked at my hands to see them still cut but the blood was dry and my hands were pale it was only red around the cuts. on my finger and hands .everywhere and they were deep .too deep .. the deepest one was on my index finger . ripping the skin where my nail started away and traveling down almosz reaching my knuckle.

how could glass create so ugly wounds . i remeber holding myself in the glass and being trown into it a couple of times .one time i was on all 4 of my limps and he kept trying to kick me down . into it .

my stomach was cut and my knees aswell .but my knees had a little protection by my pants. my hands didnt .

,, kyungsoo !" i rose my eyes from my hands under her table to look at her again .,, i'm serious .youre grades are dropping you need to get yourself together if you want to succeed in this year "

i nodded at her as she continued talking but i just kinda spaced out not hearing anything anymore exept my breathing .

whats happening ? i took my pills ... right ? why do i feel so dizzy ? not now what will the teacher think .
i started panting and cursed myself for it .as i leaned foreward holding myself on the table .

the world was spinning and my breathing was becoming louder in my ears as i looked at her seeing her worried eyes and moving mouth . i felt like sweating .
i felt awful .i couldnt breath !
she suddendly turned to the door to the side talking to someone seeming rushed but i couldnt hear or look who it was .my knees buckled in and I slipped down leaning against the wooden table with my forehead while I tried to focus my vision on the colour of the ground.

that was until 2 hands grabbed me one of the hands pulled on my arm to move me away from the table while the other moved my head to probably look at them but the lights were in the way and my eyes wouldn't stay still anyway. They kept glancing around the room .

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