strawberries | brendon urie

60: "still feels like one"

"dylan don't cry!" brendon laughed.
me and brendon were watching a movie and i bursted into tears near the end. he took the opportunity to laugh at me.
"you cry in queer eye!" i sniffled.
"way different" he put his arm round me as the credits started.

my phone buzzed.
jessica: see you in a half hour love!
"aww!" brendon smiled. i did too as i wiped my eyes and stuffed the remaining popcorn in my mouth.
"you excited?" he asked.
"very" i responded.
"guess im alone" he fake pouted.
"and who's gonna recruit a new guitarist?" i asked.
"oh yeah...shit"

i went to my room and got ready into jeans, a troye sivan t shirt and trainers. i slid my backpack on and went to hug brendon. he was on the couch on his phone so i jumped next to him and wrapped my around his waist.
"see you later" i said.
"have fun darling" he hugged me back and then i headed out.

i got to mcdonalds and ripped my earphones out of my ears. i spotted jessica and smiled. i went to go sit down but she saw me, grinned and ran to hug me.

"hey cutie!" she kissed my cheek and pulled me opposite her.
"how are you?" she asked. i panicked a little. i'd said one word to her. i opened my mouth to talk.
"i get that you're nervous. its cute" she said. i went a little red. she giggled and took my hand. "its okay"

i got nuggets, fries and a drink. she got a burger, fries and a drink. i was really nervous but i warmed up to her quickly.
"so...you from around here?" she asked. i nodded.
"you got any siblings?" i shook my head.
"you seem really close to your parents. just an assumption" she added. i nodded.
"no mom" i managed to say.
"oh. are your parents divorced?" she asked. i shook my head.
"adopted"

"ohh! cool" she sipped her coke. " i have three brothers. my mom works for GLSEN. her sister - my aunt - is transgender so it inspired her ans my dads a lawyer" she said.
"mine sings" i told her.
"oh whats his name?" she asked.
"band" i showed her the spotify.
"tell me your joking..my brother is obsessed with panic! at the disco. its really annoying. he goes on and on!" she saw my face. "your dad isn't! i-i've never heard the music. my brother is just always talking about the band and it bugs me. but i always talk about girls" she grinned and i giggled.
"well i am not telling my brother that the cute girl i met is daughter of brendon urie" she said.

we finished our food and left. we held hands and walked through the streets of la till she pulled me to one of her secret spots.
"since i saw you i've wanted to kiss you" she admitted as we sat on the rocks in the forest. she connected our hands together. "i think your gorgeous. and sweet. the last time i dated a someone she was terrible. she never understood me. and i feel like you would. theres so much shit about me...and i just know you'd be there for me and love me..."

she turned to me.
"can i kiss you?" she asked. i smashed our lips together before she could. she kissed back, gripping onto me. we pulled away and she. i did too.
"am i weird?" she asked. i shook my head.
she smiled. "thanks. for not judging me" she said shyly so i hugged her.
"i needed that" she admitted.
"sorry" i said, letting go of her.
"why?" she asked.
"anxiety" i sighed.
"its okay. my health can really suck ass" she said. "i have derealisation. sometimes i feel like im dreaming. it makes me hella depressed" she added.

she kissed my lips gently. "still feels like one"