strawberries | brendon urie

81: "can i call you?"

suicide watch was the worst. three days alone... thank god sarah was on her way back to LA.

i was allowed a week off school though. jessica and justin tried to visit but they were underage. apparently brendon had been phoning in a lot but i never wanted to speak to him. sarah called but i said i didn't want to talk. i felt mean. i knew brendons anxiety wasn't good right now but i was still pissed.

i finished my breakfast and my nurse came in. "so if im correct your staying with your dads girlfriend for two weeks?" she asked. i nodded. "and for ten days you've been staying at your friends house?" i nodded. "and your dads girlfriends name is sarah elizabeth orzechowski right?" i nodded. "well shes just called. she's back in the country and will be here by 11" it was 10:50 currently.

jessica and justin came to see me. sarah had given them permission and they came with a guardian. i hugged them both and apologised.
"you don't need to say sorry. what matters is that you're okay" justin hugged me again.
"yeah. you're amazing, okay?" i freaking love my friends.

jessica gave me some clothes and i went to get changed: one of her sweaters, black leggings and black vans. i brushed my hair and styled it. then i heard a familiar voice. i walked out and saw sarah and kala laughing with justin. i ran and hugged sarah. she laughed and hugged me back.
"hey kiddo, how are you?" she grinned.
"bad" i admitted. she let go of me.
"well we're gonna fix that" ugh i love her. justin snapped a photo.
"this is the cutest crap ever" he grinned.

sarah suggested my friends came back home with us but justin had school and so did jessica sadly. her and iher went home, kala going to hers. i had my phone back thank god...many many many miscalls from brendon. i then posted the photo justin took.

@dylanurie: god is a woman and the woman is sarah

then i got a text.
brendon <3: Can I call you?
me: no
brendon <3: Please :(
me: hmmmm
me: no
brendon <3: Fine I'll call Sarah.
me: please i rlly dont wanna talk rn :/ call me at 3am or something
brendon <3: Okay. I love you.

i turned my phone off as we made it to the house. we went inside and i made sarah some coffee as she was so jet lagged. we caught up for an hour then i ordered us some mcdonalds. we watched some tv for a bit - we loved pretty little liars.

we didn't speak of my attempt at all which was good. she asked if i had talked to brendon and i was honest. she didn't pressure me to talk to him - she knew i was annoyed at him. she went to bed early that night. i couldn't sleep though. brendon hid sharp items and medicine before he went. i texted my friends, did a bit of work and watched some tv. then i saw i was tagged in something.

@brendontops: LOOK GUYS! You can tell by the room that it's a suicide watch room! Dylan tried to kill herself :(

i left a comment.
@dylanurie: sorry if this comes off bitchy but can u pls remove this :/

well this was fucking scary. i deleted the photo of me and sarah. then i went on my messages app.

me: you can call me now if you want

my phone started ringing.
brendon <3