strawberries | brendon urie

94: "i'll miss you strawberry"

"hey sarah can you help me quickly?" i nudged her.
"yeah sure!" she followed me outside and i closed the door.

"can you promise me something?" i asked.
"yeah sure what?"
"please be there brendon. he's in pain a-and when i leave i won't be able to be there for him anymore" i sniffled.
"oh honey of course!" she hugged me.
"im really gonna miss him" i broke down crying.
"aw its okay! i promise i'll look after him. who knows, we might even move in with each other" she joked.

we went back inside and sat down. brendon and jessica were laughing at something justin said. brendon and me locked eyes and he gestured me to sit next to him. i walked over and sat down. he pulled me into his arms, planting soft kisses on my head.
"your dads on his way"

my heart fucking shattered.

my suitcases stood at the front door. jessica was wearing my pride flag. justin was fidgeting with his hands. sarah was biting her thumbnail. brendon was holding in tears, holding my hand. the doorbell rang and my heart sank.

brendon opened the door. my dad stood there smiling.
"hey dylan, you ready to come home?" this is my home. with brendon and my loved ones. i didn't reply or gesture anything. i just gave him my suitcases to take to the car.

i hugged sarah first.
"you're like a daughter me. i've never been more closer to someone, even linda" she said her eyes glassy. "but you're gonna be fine. okay? you got this. text me all the time"
jessica was next. she was crying so hard.
"when i feel like im dreaming, you're the only thing that makes it real" she sobbed into my arms.
"look, i know its gonna be hard for me to see you so if you ever wanna break up and date new girls...go ahead" i said quietly.
"it won't be the same" she shook her head. "i love you so much"
"i love you too. you're gonna be okay. i promise" i kissed her forehead softly and hugged her.

justin never cries. "i...have allergies" he sniffled.
"what a liar" i hugged him.
"you're always gonna be my best friend. okay, we own the movie theatre" he said.
"ugh you're so dorky, get a girlfriend" i scoffed. "you steal all the hot girls!" he reasoned.
"i stole one, shut the fuck up" i corrected him.
we grinned and hugged.
"i'll come see you. i will" he said.
"i know you will. you can't freaking stay away" we both laughed. then hugged one last time.

they went to the kitchen to give me and brendon some alone time. he let out a small sob.
"i-im sorry" he wiped his tears. "i just...fuck. how am i gonna live without you?" he sighed. "brendon" he sat on the stairs, crying. i sat next to him and hugged him.
"you make me so fucking happy. i love spending every moment with you. and now i cant see you ever again?" he wiped his tears and calmed himself. "god this is so shit" he sniffled.
"i know" i leaned on his side.
"promise me you'll stay alive" he looked at me.
"whats the point living if it not with you!?" i wanted to say. "i promise" i said. we clutched hands and hugged again.

"alright dylan its time to go"
dickwad.

jessica, justin, sarah and brendon walked me to the door. i hugged each of them one last time. brendon picked me up and spun me round. "thanks for giving me two years of pure happiness. i'll miss you strawberry" he kissed my head and let me down.
tears streamed down my cheeks as i followed my asshole of a dad to the car. i got in and the car started. i felt sick to my stomach. i saw my loved ones at the door, looking hurt.

what the fuck am i doing?

"what the fuck am i doing?" i opened the door and threw myself onto the road.
"dylan what are you doing!?"
"the right thing" i looked at brendon. "im so sorry"

i got up and ran. i tore down the street, not knowing where i was going.
"dylan wait!" i didn't listen to the calls. or the yelling. i just ran.

"dylan!"