strawberries | brendon urie

86: "im your father"

"whats wrong?" i asked jake. he was editing a tour video looking down.
"it just really sucks that kenny had to do what he did. he was such an awesome dude then we find out what a dick he's been" he sighed.
"are you not putting him in the video?"
"you bet" he chuckled. i giggled.
"so...how you doing?" he asked, putting his laptop away.
"sleep is not a thing anymore"
"time zones suck ass" he agreed.
"oh and i had a nightmare about my ex dad so thats cool" i whipped.
he laughed. "so is sarcasm and cringey dance moves a coping mechanism?"
"yup" i grinned.

"its just weird. i remember how my dad left and my mom died right in-front of me then suddenly im out of my old city and in LA - well in Tokyo currently - living my best life. not mentally but y'know" i said.
"you never told me about your mom"
"i was a mistake. my dad didn't want shit to do with me and my mum would a drug addict. she overdosed on heroin and when i came downstairs she was on the floor. she wouldn't wake up. i didn't know what to do as i was really young so searched up 'emergency' - im very academic in english - and called 911"
"damn im so sorry"
"its okay" i shrugged. sure it was still traumatising that child me had to watch their mom die right in front of them but i was lucky to have brendon.

"hey dylan" brendon came over, throwing his beer can in the trash.
"you wanna come to the beach with me?" he asked. i looked at jake.
"go ahead. me and zack are gonna get some pizza" he said.
"thanks for talking with me" we fist bumped then me and brendon headed out.

"i told jake about my mom. it felt really good" i said as soon as we made it. we walked along the sand, our shoes in our hand.
"its good that you can tell others" he said.
"yeah" i replied. then i grinned. "last one to the water has to get the other person a taco!" i pushed him and ran.
"dylan!" brendon ran after me. i laughed then slipped and fell in the water.

lucky me. i was wearing a tour tee shirt and leggings and i was wet.
"how did this get from you talking about your dead mom to you falling over?" he smiled fondly and helped me up.
"im weird" we both laughed.

"she acts just like ashley" i heard someone day.
"hey whats wrong?" brendon asked, noticing how tense i got.
"oh that was my moms name. y'know before she got high and died right in front of me"
"and you say that casually?"
"its called a coping mechanism. in this household we use sarcasm"
"household?" he laughed. i looked over at the guy.

i felt faint. i gripped onto brendons arm, feeling sick.
"that guy looks exactly like my biological dad" i whispered as he held me.
"well i can ask because he's coming over" he said.
"what!?"

"excuse me um did you say your name was dylan?" the man asked. i clutched brendon and nodded. "i had a daughter named dylan. but my girlfriend didn't want me near her. a-and few years later she died from heroin overdose"

what the fuck.

"what was your girlfriends name?" brendon asked, knowing what was up.
"ashley. ashley wilson" brendon looked at me. "that was your moms name"

"dylan

im your father"