strawberries | brendon urie

82: "i just miss you so much"

tw death

my heart was pounding but i pressed accept and put the phone up to my ear.
"dylan?" his voice spoke.
"hi" i said quietly.
"are you okay?" he asked.
"why would you care?" i said bitterly.
"because your my child and i love you"
"okay" i mumbled. he sighed.

"im really sorry for being such a dick. watching you cry your eyes out as i walked away from you was the worst feeling ever. i broke down as soon as i finished talking to you when i landed. i just miss you so much" he said. "and when sarah told me what you said, a-and you wouldn't pick up and the hospital called...oh god it was so scary"
"i hate suicide watch"
"i know you do"
"its so fucking stupid, like i still wanna die so why you gonna lock me up?"
"dylan please tell me your not serious"
"...i don't know!" i said quickly.
"what do you mean you don't know"
"i just don't!" it was quiet for a bit.

"how's school?"
"oh well apart from the twelve panic attacks in five days its been good"
"you seen molly?"
"seeing her tomorrow"
"is justin okay?"
"clingy but okay"
"jessica?"
"shes been reallllly sad"
"she watched you try to kill yourself"
"okay we get it im suicidal, moving on"
"why are you being such a little bitch?" he shot. then he sighed."sorry"
"you're not wrong" i pointed out.
my dad chuckled. "i got a surprise for you after the manila show"
"is it because im pissed at you?"
"no actually. planned it ages ago"
"well you should get some sleep. text me whenever. i love you"
"yeah i love you too. thanks" i replied.
"see you soon"

see you soon?