strawberries | brendon urie

92: "i cant leave him"

i woke up and i was cuddled up to jessica. i smiled. i was fifteen and so happy. i slid out of bed and saw a note under my door. i picked it ip.

Your doors locked so I guess you guys are fast asleep.
Anyway, me and Justin went to get some birthday breakfast. Love you xx

i smiled fondly and tidied up the room before hitting the shower. i got into a panic! at the disco t shirt, a black long skirt and black fishnet tights. i brushed my hair and braided it and put on some eye liner and mascara.

"morning baby" i turn around to see jessica awake looking beautiful.
"morning" i smiled. she came over and hugged me.
"you're the best. i hope you know that" she planted soft kisses on my jawline. i giggled. "that tickles! now go put some clothes on my dad will be back soon!" i scolded her playfully.

she got dressed then we left the room. sarah had stayed the night and just woke up and was in the bathroom. we went downstairs and sat at the piano. i played a few random keys while jessica held me. i took a selfie, her face buried into my neck.

@dylanurie: i luv u🥺 @copycatjessica

the door opened and brendon & justin were back. they had waffle house paper bags.
"hey birthday girl and her beautiful girlfriend" brendon smiled as they walked into the room.
"hey" i got up and hugged him. i hugged justin too and they gave us some breakfast. after eating and sarah coming downstairs and eating me and my friends went to the garden to have a mini photoshoot. after that sarah and brendon came outside with a bunch of gift bags. oh god. presents.

justin got me the a bring me the horizon sweater, three cds, a hayley kiyoko poster, bracelets and some polaroids of us. jessica got me a pride blanket, a small teddy bear, a photo frame with us kissing in it, tickets to see billie eilish and a ring. she also gave me a box when i opened it and collapsed laughing. she did too.

"holy shit" justin started to laugh too.
"why are you guys laughing so much?" brendon took it from me and took the item out. "is this a vibrator?"
me and my friends were crying with laughter. "what have you two been up to?" brendon asked me and jessica.
"nothing" we said at the same time.
"brendon its just a joke" sarah assured him. i gave it back to jessica and we giggled. sarah knew what was going on...

sarah got me some combat boots, a phone case, some candy, a perfume and pride vans. brendon got me some new vans, a new kanken, a pride pin, a panic! at the disco notebook, a target gift caed, and a scrapbook. it had photos of us from the past two years.
"im really gonna miss you darling" he said quietly.

i forgot that today was my last day. i shut the book and started crying. justin comforted me but i was literally bawling my eyes out.
"c'mon" he helped me up and out of the room and into the garden.
"i can't leave him" i cries into his arms.
"so sorry" he sighed.
"you don't know how tempted i've been to jus' fucking run away" i sobbed.
"no. no please don't"
"i just don't see the point living if it's not with him"
"don't you fucking say that"

i didn't dare then around. i knew he was there. "i'll give you guys a moment" he wiped my tears away and went inside. i heard the door close.
brendons arms went round me. "don't even think about doing anything. i'd rather you alive and not with me than dead"
how am i going to do anything brendon? he's such a shitty person!"
"i know he is, but you can still see molly. a-and text me, a lot" he let go of me and looked at the time. "its only 12. 4 hours of fun. okay? you got this"

we went inside and my suitcases were in the hallway. jessica had wrapped herself in my pride flag, leaning on sarahs side. i wiped my tears and cleared my throat
"so...who wants to go to the park?"
"ME!" my friends grabbed my hands and hauled me out of the door. brendon and sarah laughed.
"use protection!" i called on the way out.