strawberries | brendon urie

51: "you remind of brendon"

"if you have trouble i'll talk"

me and brendon were in starbucks. i was going to TRY and order a drink.
"this is stressing me out" i said.
"you'll be okay, i promise"

"hi!" the lady at the counter smiled. i froze. what was i ordering? what was brendon ordering? why couldn't i get the words out? do something! brendon took over and i wanted to cry.

"that was so terrible" i mumbled as we walked out. i didn't get anything in the end. i felt like shit.
"hey. this is your first time. don't" he said, leading me to the car. "i know its gonna be hard. but we're gonna do this. together"
brendons parents paid us a visit the next day. i was so fucking nervous - i felt sick the whole morning. i was pacing round my room breathing heavily. sarah came in and stopped me.
"i know you're feeling really anxious. but i'll be in there too. its their first time meeting me. im with you"
"last time i saw them i walked out of the house" i quivered.
"aw sweetie. it'll be okay im a bit scared as well but we're in this together okay? and remember: you do not pressure or force yourself. okay?"
sarah greeted his parents looking confident. i was shaking a little. i opened my mouth ready to talk but when they laid eyes on me i closed it - but they acted like nothing happened last time!

thank god.

it went okay. we all sat outside and brendon & sarah spoke to them. i wanted to text justin but brendon took my phone away (remind me to turn my music down the first time he asks instead of the fifth). i fidgeted with my hands anxiously. i shuffled a little closer to my dad while he was engaged in conversation yet he still clasped my hands at the same time, sensing my anxiety.

his parents turned to me.
"so? we hear you've come out! congratulations!" his mom smiled.
i nearly cried. i cant believe she said that. shes so SWEET. for trumpies...they were nice.
"yeah and shes in trouble" brendon said. "brendon!" sarah scolded him.
"what have you done?" his parents were curious.
"she wouldn't turn her music down" he rubbed his eyes. "five times i asked her"

"brendon, stop showing off your parenting skills no one cares" i scoffed.
"yeah! show off!" sarah joked.
i hadn't realised what i'd done. bu4 brendon and his parents just laughed at my comment. i guess with brendon in the room it made things easier. brendons mom asked me to walk with her in the garden after we ate our lunch inside.

"you remind of brendon when he was younger. his anxiety would effect him a lot but he'd always find a way out. and seeing you over there with him? im very proud. of both you"
i glowed with pride.
"is therapy okay?" she pondered.
"yeah"

THIS BOOK IS TURNING SHIT