strawberries | brendon urie

89: "i don't have a choice"

after three more shows and a bunch of exploring we went back to LA. but them the band had to fly out again to spain and brendon said i was going to be his plus one for the mtv WMAs!

sarah took me shopping to buy an outfit. he found me a cute dress and some cool heeled boots. i also told her everything about what happened with my dad - she's really easy to talk to. anyway we flew to spain and did some exploring. the oranges there were so good. i sent photos to jessica and justin. i did see them when i got back to la, hung with them and told them about what happened. i was still in shock. and the next day was the award show. some lady came in to do my hair and make up. it was wEird. brendon was wearing this really nice velvet suit. he looked amazing. he told me i looked beautiful.

new dad who? i love brendon too much.

we had to walk on some big ass carpet. brendon had to deal with some shit though so i was on my own. i was just walking around snapchatting when a group of girls screamed my name. i raced over to them and they asked for a picture. so i took one of all of us and put it on instagram. they could tell i was freaking out and were talking to me like we were all friends

@dylanurie: I AM AT AN AWARD SHOW HELP

brendon came out next. he saw me with them and grinned. i went back to him and we headed to the carpet thingy.
Lim so nervous" i said to him.
"me too" he said as we were pelted with flashes from cameras. i saw that tiktok was a sponsor and laughed - brendon laughed with me.

anyway after some cool pics he had to do some press stuff so i went to find the band. but guess who i met? dua lipa! i gasped when i saw her and she spotted me. i couldn't utter a word but she said i was the cutest and wanted to take a photo with me. fucking surreal.

i found the band and chilled with them for a bit.l but then i had to go to my seat. i just went on my phone as i didn't know what to do. then the award show started. there were some performances then it was time for panic!. i couldn't see brendon anywhere.
"up here dylan!"
what the fuck...

brendon. was abseiling. down the building.
"oh my god" i mumbled. he had really done it this time.

"Had to have high high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high high hopes
Had to have high high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high high hopes

Mama said
Fulfill the prophecy
Be something greater
Go make a legacy
Manifest destiny
Back in the days
We wanted everything

Mama said
Burn your biographies
Rewrite your history
Light up your wildest dreams
Museum victories
Everyday
We wanted everything

Mama said
It's uphill for oddities
The stranger crusaders
Ain't ever wannabes
The weird and the novelties
Don't ever change
We wanted everything

Stay up on that rise
Stay up on that rise
Stay up on that rise
Never come down

Mama said don't give up, it's a little complicated
all tied up, no more love and i hate to see you waiting

They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me
So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see

Had to have high high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high high hopes
Had to have high high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high high hopes

Mama said don't give up, it's a little complicated
all tied up, no more love and i hate to see you waiting

They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me
So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see

Had to have high high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high high hopes
Had to have high high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high high hopes"

it was amazing. tears filled my eyes. brendon spotted me and waved. i mouthed "i love you" and clapped causing him to hrin.

soon we were watching the award show together. then it was time for the category he's in.
"you might win!" i whispered to him. he shrugged and drank his beer.

"and the winner is...panic! at the disco!"

"huh?" brendon was mid drinking.
"you did it!" i exclaimed. we hugged and he gave me his beer to hold. he made his speech then started thanking people. "oh and i'd also like to thank my daughter dylan for making me so happy everyday"

i kid you not i started crying.
it was such an amazing day. then brendon told me we were going away for some press in germany!

europe was awesome for the next few days. i picked up a lot of stuff for my friends. then at the airport brendon got a call.
"its your adoption agency" he said to me. i was scared.

he came back, his eyes red.
"dude are you okay?" zack asked.
"um...your dad was pissed that you said you didn't want to hang out with him. so he got in contact with your adoption centre and asked if he could take you"
"brendon you cant let him!" i said.
"i don't have a choice"

those words crushed me.
i had to leave brendon.

"no brendon please"
"im so sorry" he hugged me, tears in his eyes. "im so fucking sorry"