strawberries | brendon urie

65: "i don't wanna die!"

"babe snap out of it!"

i jumped and dropped my plate. glass shattered beneath my feet and the room went silent. sarah ran to fetch the dustpan and brush as tears welled up in my eyes. jessica wrapped her arms round me.
"lets get you upstairs" she said in a quiet voice.
"i'll take her. its okay" brendon insisted. she kissed my cheek and let go of me, helping justin get the food off the floor. brendons hand slid into mine as he led me upstairs.

today i'd invited my girlfriend and best friend to hang out. we were mid eating lunch with sarah and my dad when i started getting flashbacks. you can probably figure out what then happened.

brendon closed my door and i started to cry properly.
"hey its okay" he assured me.
"i remembered something" i cried. i was shaking so hard, tears spilling down my cheeks.
"what was it?" he sat me on my bed and attempted to calm me.
"m-my mom threw a glass plate at me" i pulled my t shirt down to reveal the scar on my shoulder. "i-it smashed and i ran out of the house onto the road...i-i..."
"oh darling im so sorry"
"its okay. shes dead" i sniffled.

he was shocked at how dark i sounded.
"do things just happen for you to get flashbacks?" he asked.
"sometimes" i crossed my legs. "i haven't been getting many nightmares anymore. i-i don't know what happened today though" i explained.
"this isn't healthy darling. you should tell molly" he said.
"no i-i don't want to!"
"i can? its important she knows"
"no brendon its not"
he sighed. "i
"cant live like this" i said.
"theres a way out. i promise"
"i just cant take it anymore" i started to cry again.
"you're not thinking of doing anything...are you?" he asked.
"god no!" i threw my arms round his neck. "i don't wanna die! i love you so much. i could never leave you"
"thank god" he sniffled, hugging me back.