Fate's Identity

Chapter 100

A week ago...

Ally's POV

My eyes flutter slightly, and I take notice of my old bedroom. I remember specifically what happened before I passed out. Just the thought of his face and the mention of his name gave me anxiety. It made me furious and depress at the same time.

I roll over from laying on my back to laying on my side. I stare at the wall blankly. There was a window with the blinds closed. I snuggle myself in the sheets and feel my energy draining away, little by little.

He made me feel empty and small after everything. And stupid. Dumb. Worthless. Low. An idiot. Anything close to a fool described me. I remember months ago, he told me he wanted to make me happy and smile, and he did, for a good chunk of our relationship, but in the end, he failed to uphold what he said he wanted. He tricked me into giving him everything. And I was willing to do it. That was worse part.

Ugh! I feel so disgusted with myself.

I uncover the sheets and feel the cold air hit my bare shoulders. A slight headache rose in my head, and I moan. I set my feet on the ground and stand up. I feel a little tipsy at first, but I quickly recover.

I enter the bathroom and find a silky brown robe and a towel sitting on the counter. On top of the robe laid a note. I pick it up and read: I thought you might want to change after you wake up. If you need anything, tell me. Niall. Even though I didn't show it, I smile at his kind gesture.

I shut the door and look at myself in the mirror. My hair was messy. My face was dirty along with my clothes. My necklace was absent from my neck. I shiver in disgust.

I pull the back zipper of my white strapless dress and pull it and my underwear down. I step out of it and enter the shower. I turn on the water and let the warm water sink into my skin. I press my hands against my shoulders and squeeze them. I breathe in the heat and let it flow through my throat. Then, I pick up the bar of soap and shiver at everything he must have touched. My face. My neck. My shoulders. My breasts to my legs and feet. So I scrub. I scrub his dirt off of me. I scrub until I feel my skin grazed against the sponge.

I turn on the hot water and let the water burn me, hoping it would ease my inner pain. I bite my bottom lip and try to hold in my tears. The physical pain helped me in this very moment. I let the water soak me until my fingers turns into raisins. I turn off the water and exit the shower. I grab the towel and rub the water off my skin. I wrap it around my body and look at myself in the fogged mirror. I wipe the mirror, and my own reflection stares back at me. She looked broken. Scarred. Her skin glowed red. And I could tell that the girl enjoyed the physical pain than the emotional one that was overbearing her thoughts and making her regret every decisions she's made in life. Her hair were in tangles. She looked clean and pure, but I know that the girl in the mirror wasn't anymore.

I shift my attention away and slide into the robe. I remove the towel and wrap it around my wet hair. I tie my robe tight and into a knot and leave the bathroom. I stop beside the door and observe the room. This used to be my room. Years of memories flooded back to me, but the recent ones were the freshest. The table and the window reminded of Liam. Almost everyday, we had our paper chats at the window.

Funny. I don't even have anything of his, yet I'm still reminded of him. Him and our memories together. And I wish I can forget.

I honestly want to lose my memory and not remember him. If I had a choice, I would choose to not remember any of this and have Niall and Lauren fill those empty years of Liam with fake stories that I will believe. I wish that can happen to me. If it was up to me, I prefer to not remember anything that life had toss at me. I want a redo. Begin a new life, and if I'm lucky, Liam and I will meet under better circumstances. No hard obstacles. That's what I want. Loving him was enough in this lifetime. I'm ready for the next.