Swan of Endless Feathers (Book 1 of Swan Trilogy)

Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Play Time is Over

Tyler

I fell in love with her the day she rejected me.

Noong nakilala ko si Charlotte bilang kapit-bahay namin, niligawan ko na siya. Dahil bata pa nga kami at tanga pa ko, nireject niya ako.

Some people say rejection makes you bitter but it made me braver.

I'm not afraid of getting rejected by the same girl dozens of times. I didn't gave up as soon as she rejected me. I told her I can wait. I told her I can keep going as long as it's with her.

But...

"Kaibigan lang tayo, Tyler! Bata pa ko para magkaboyfriend!" Charlotte blushed.

"I know."

"Edi bakit mo pinipilit?"

Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na sumosobra na pala ako. I became too much to her. Nakakahiya na itong pinaggagawa ko.

"Kasi ito ang nararamdaman ako, na ikaw ang gusto ko."

"Wala ka bang ibang magawa kundi ito lang? Naisip mo man lang ba ang sarili mo?"

Umawang ang bibig ko. I haven't thought about myself. I kept chasing the love of my life without giving a thought of what I want to do in life.

Tumigil ako sa panliligaw sa kanya.

Hindi ako nagalit o nainis sa kanya dahil nireject niya ako. Immature pa kasi ako mag-isip kaya akala ko kapag inulit-ulit kong gawin at pinapakita ko na hindi ko siya sinusukuan, tatanggapin niya rin ako.

Damn. I was so fucking dumb for love.

May babae na nagconfess sa akin na crush niya raw ako. Maganda naman siya kahit papaano pero hindi siya ang gusto ko.

I was honest. I told her I love someone else. Umiyak siya na halos tumulo na ang sipon niya kakaiyak.

I felt so cruel. I should've kept my mouth shut. If I tell them the truth, they would cry and I wouldn't know how to comfort them because I'm the one who caused their pain.

I hate the thought of hurting other's feelings. When girls love me and I don't feel the same way, I have to bear this guilt of breaking someone's heart.

Am I naïve to think like that?

Hindi ko kayang makita na may nakakasakit akong ibang tao. My brothers could handle it with ease whenever they reject a girl but to me it felt like I was committing a crime.

Eventually, I became this distant quiet guy who barely talks to anyone. I was alone but I wasn't lonely. I preferred to be this way so I could explore things on my own...

Without hurting anyone.

I read hardcover books of classics, wrote poetries and short stories in my leather notebook, drawn some ink stained messy art of people's faces and random buildings on the street, and listening to soft music.

It's not much but I love what I do for fun.

Sumusulyap ako kay Charlotte tuwing masisilayan ko siya sa malayo. Tanggap ko naman na hanggang dito lang ako, kahit sa malayo lang ako nagmamahal.

Nagbabasa ako ng libro sa tabi ng bintana nang biglang may umagaw ng atensyon ko. Nilapitan ako ni Charlotte, may dalang tsokolate sabay inabot niya ito sa akin.

"Sorry."

Nagtataka kong tinanggap ang tsokolate.

"Bakit ka nagsosorry?"