The Price Of Loving Him... (Itachi x reader)

Chapter 137

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"I will prepare some tea for us", Itachi said in a low voice as you exited Tatsu's room with him then closing the door. It feels so awkward to be with him again, suddenly, at home with a child already, when your life as a married couple before didn't last more that one single night, after all what happened...

Yecided to ignore these feelings for now, or at least keep them under control, until you know what you want from him.

"Sure...", you said accompanying him downstairs to the kitchen, and helping him with the tea, still quite as you have been ever since you three got inside.

You were sitting on the wooden engawa that overlooks your garden and the beautiful fish pond, with all the beautiful lanterns around on. Itachi sat next to you, putting the small rounded tray containing the cups of hot green tea between the two of you.

From where should you begin? Ask him why did he leave out of a sudden?! Why did he carry on with you all along if he panned to die from the beginning?! Where was he before coming here?! Why did he lie to you?!

"[Name]...I...", he tried to talk, start a conversation, but he didn't know what to say exactly? What to justify first? What to expalin first.
"Itachi...why?", you asked him, one simple word resuming everything, why did you do what you did Itachi?
He was looking at you with sad eyes as you held a cup of tea in your hands looking at the green hot drink in it, can't even take a sip from it.
"Why did you do that? Why did you leave? I just wanna know...what did I do wrong that I couldn't make you stay? I thought we had settled everything, I thought we would do everything to stay together...I thought you would find another way to tell your brother...but it seems nothing could have changed your mind...", you said looking at him with tears in your eyes as they sparkled under the light of the lantern that was above your heads. 

Itachi remained silent, you are crying, Tatsu told him you have been crying but he knows you cried more than Tatsu can imagine, and he knows he is the reason of it, he should listen to you, and let you take it all out...
"...I'm sorry...", was all that he muttered looking into your eyes, he wants you to...tell him all what you want, tell him all what you felt and what you passed through, tell him how much of a selfish and irresponsible lover he was...make him feel guilty and bad for what he did...

"That day...the morning after we got married, after you...'abandoned me', I walked back home, too naive to realize what was happening, or else...ignoring the bad feeling in my heart that was telling me, that I should do something. I told myself you'll be back, as a bride who has just been wedded to her groom, I thought you'd be back for me, maybe you just have something to do, you're always busy with something, after all...lady Noriko tried to comfort me about it, I chose to believe her and wait, but...she doesn't know you as I do...", you said with a heavy sigh as you sniffled, taking a sip from your cup as you looked ahead at the fish pond.

"I know...no words can justify what I did back then...", Itachi said looking at you, at your long hair that down your back reaching the wooden floor as you sat down and just laying behind you on the floor, wearing one of your beautiful light pink kimonos....

You just carried on telling him what happened, not responding to what he said, a tear rolling down your cheek.

"I waited...it was evening, a day, two days, three...more days later and still no sign of you, at that point I couldn't just keep waiting, I followed you, I didn't know where to go or what to expect...I...I went to the Akatsuki's hideout and no one was there, your room Itachi, our room that we once shared for long was locked, I walked out and searched for you for many days and nights all the places I could, until I met Madara, and he was the one who told me where to find you, and what were you doing...", you said, remembering those days as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand, putting the cup back in the tray as you couldnt drink your tea anymore, Itachi was listening to every word you have been saying, he wanted to know what happened to you when he left, he wanted to know the pain he caused to you, as well as the things that happened during his absence, so maybe he would find a way to make it up to you...fine a way to ease the pain a little...