The Price Of Loving Him... (Itachi x reader)

Chapter 138

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Itachi leaned in and kissed you again, you keep trying to bringing make of those feelings you've decided to forget years ago...

Suddenly, you felt an urge to stop him, you didn't want to fall in the same trap again...you didn't want to be let down again...you pushed him backwards gently with your palm on his chest, and looked to the side, avoiding that look on his face.

"Why [name]?...", he whispered calmly, gently turning your face back to him.
"I'm not ready...you...you just got here after long time...I...I'm still confused of how to...start things again and...", you said as your eyes looked away from his, while he held your hands in his.
"We just need to let things go between us spontaneously like before...we just need to pick up from where we stopped..", he said with a small smile, trying to lighten up the situation and to make you feel less uncomfortable, even though he knew it was hard for you to just act like before, things had changed...and you [name] had changed as well...you think deepily before doing anything now...
"It is not that easy for me Itachi...the scare is so deep...you left suddenly right after we got married, when I finally thought everything will be fine and right, when we were supposed to...get even more closer and when I needed you the most beside me... you chose to leave silently in that way...", you said, remembering those times that still hurts you inside, you loved him so much...and you paid so dearly for it.

"I'm sorry...I know what I did was a huge mistake but I'm asking you for forgiveness...I'm asking you to give me another chance so I can make it up to you, and prove that I love you and I really want to start a new life with you...", Itachi said in a soft and gentle voice, caressing your cheek softly and looking at you with eyes full of sorrow and regret, and hope, as you just closed your eyes and let out a heavy sigh then looked at him again.
"Itachi listen, I'm not trying to push you away or reject you...I still love you, same as before or maybe even more, I'm so happy that you're back to a point I can barely believe it, but...I'm not ready...I need time to accept the new 'old' change in my life and heal from the shock...we also need to keep in mind, we are not alone anymore Itachi, there is Tatsu now...", you said looking at his eyes, wishing he would understand how you feel, as you heard a sigh coming from him...as he then smiled.

"I see...it is okay [name], but please no more tears, okay? Tatsu and I are not strangers, he is my son that I love so much, he told me you were crying because of me, but I'm here now, I'm back, right? If he sees you crying he might think I'm still hurting you...", Itachi said wiping the small droplets of tears away from your face with his thumb, the tears you didn't even notice were about to roll down your cheeks.
"You're right, sorry...", you muttered, nodding at him and smiling slightly as you made sure to wipe out all the remaining of your tears.
"It is fine...you look prettier when you smile...", Itachi whispered, looking at the beautiful smile that formed on your lips.
"Like this?", you said with a small giggle, as you smiled wider at him, making him smile back as well.
"Yeah sweetheart"

"Alright...it's getting pretty late and we should go to sleep now, I guess you're pretty tired from traveling all the way here and well...I'm tired too...", you said as you stood up, lifting the tray with the cups of tea in your hands as Itachi stood up and nodded.
"I will take these to the kitchen, Itachi...you can sleep in the bedroom of the reception room if you want...I will sleep somewhere else...", you added lowly, looking aside avoiding his eyes.
"Why not sleep together with me?", he asked a bit worried, he understands that you are still nervous and confused with his coming back but to this point? not even sleeping in the same room with him? Or is it something else?
"It's better this way Itachi", you said calmly, looking at him and smiling slightly as you then headed inside as he followed afte you.

You went to the kitchen to clean the cups and the tray as he headed to the reception room, he took out a futon from the closet there and spread it down on the floor, he put a pillow and a blanket as well as he laid down after turning off the lights. He is finally home, he was tired, but he found a difficulty to just fall asleep, as he kept staring at that large Uchiha symbol on the wall facing him in the dim light coming from the outside.

You noticed the lights were off in the reception room, you smiled feeling a sweet feeling in your tummy, he is...really here!
You climbed the staircase and went to Tatsu's room to check on him, finding him sleeping deeply with a smile on his cute face, he seems to be so happy, he is probably dreaming about Itachi, you put a sweet kiss on his forehead and pulled the covers on his little body as you then left the room to your bedroom that was next to it.

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you after taking off your kimono and remaining in your white juban. You can see clearly how red your cheeks are, it is because of him of course, the sparkle in your eyes is back, the way your body tingles, as a wave of excitement rush through it, the feels of his soft touch, feelings you thought you would never feel again.
You went to bed a little while later, you turned off the lights and hugged a pillow, but you couldn't sleep despite your attempts to, how can you sleep when he is here? when the love of your life is here...maybe...you shouldn't have asked him to sleep somewhere else...a sweet simple cuddle is no harm right?
You sighed, you were scared rather than nervous...scared that what happened years ago would repeat itself and you find yourself all by your own and then, you will never forgive him again. You were also nervous, even having a child from him, but now after all these years, you feel shy around him

Back then, you gave him a chance and he took it, but he never finish the job, he unwillingly gave you a wrong impression about love making with him, deep in your head, it is connected with his sudden leave...
Even Itachi couldnt sleep, he kept tossing and turning in his place, he needs you next to him, ever since you two met you never slept away from each other when you are in the same place. He sighed as he sat up in his place in the darkness, is that what he is back for? Is he gonna let the gap between you two get more wide? No, he shouldn't let you do this, for the best of you two, he shouldn't let you be away from him now, especially this first night after he came back.

You gasped as you heard the door open and someone walked in...

"I-Itachi?!", you whispered surprised and also nervous as you sat up in bed quickly, hugging yourself not even bothering to turn on the lights. "What are you doing?!", you whispered in a cute voice already feeling him joining the bed and lay down, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I just...couldn't sleep away from you", Itachi said as he wrapped his arms around you strongly and laid down with you, feeling your small attempts to push him away, he knows you don't really want him to leave, and he also..knows he needs to be nice and sweet to you and slowly get you back the way you were before, and not force you into anything.
"Alright...b-but I'm not sure what would Tatsu think if he sees us together...", you muttered with a sigh, you are not sure of the little boy's reaction if he sees you two a bit too close, he loves his dad for sure but all of this is still new to him, he is still little though.

"Tatsu needs to understand this from now, that mom and dad should be always together, it is better than being apart now then have to expalin to him later and confuse him", Itachi said calmly, gently stroking your head as you gave in, he is right...
"Don't worry, he is a smart child, I guess he will be happy to see us together", Itachi said with a smile, kissing your head and pulling you closer as you nodded slowly with a smile, clutching tight on his shirt.

"Now sleep...I will be still here when you wake up", he said, covering the two of you with the blanket as he rested his chin gently on your head, only God knows how much did he miss your touch and closeness, how much did he miss having you like this...
"Alright...goodnight, Itachi..."
"Goodnight love"
As this had been said, you could finally sleep, now it feels right, everything feels right, you are not worried or sad, you are happy.