SHORT SHOTS

All I Did Was To Love.

Love is sacred. 

 It is something we need and we want to have, it is something we plan and predict. 

Sometimes it is something we asked for, something we prayed for. 

Minsan naman hindi.

 Love comes in a form of surprises, you didn't know, you didn't realize, hindi mo namamalayang 'ay, ito na pa la yun?'

 All I did was to love. 

 Not at the wrong person but at the wrong timing. 

 Alam kong siya na. All I did was to love him, with all my heart at wala na nga akong tinira sa sarili ko. His parents don't like me, while mine love him so much, they even call him son. 

 He cheated on me 5 times, but all I did was to forgive him after he apologize and promised na hindi na niya uulitin. Mahal ko e, marupok ako. 

Cheat. 

Forgive. 

Cheat. 

Forget. 

 Cheat. 

 Forgive. 

 Limang beses. 

 Ang tanga ko diba? Kasi alam ko naman na mahal na mahal niya ako at ginagawa niya lang na magloko dahil galit siya sa parents niya bakit hindi nila ako gusto para sa kanya. He's angry with his parents, angry with himself and angry with the world. 

 Yung role ko that time was to keep him going, kahit ako na itong basag na basag. I need to push him, saying "it's okay" everytime. Mahal ko e. I guess, yun talaga yun. 

That's how we play the game. 

 "By, cool off muna tayo ah. I need to focus and concentrate on my studies para may mapatunayan ako sa parents ko. We made a deal, kapag naka-graduate ako ng cum laude, hahayaan na nila ako at gusto kong pagkagraduate nang pagkagraduate ko magpapakasal agad tayo. Okay lang ba sa'yo, by?"I smiled and answered, 

"O-of course, let's do that. Makakapag-antay naman ako." He lean closer to kiss me before he walk away. 

 I cried. 

Parang iniipit ang puso ko sa subrang sakit. 

It hurts like hell, cool off lang naman but why am I feeling this? It hurts but I have to understand. Matalino naman siya, I know he can do it. 

I never forget to send him messages, greetings, kinakamusta ngunit wala siyang nireply-yan doon. I can't call him. Hanggang nalaman ko na his parents confiscated his phone. 

 Limang buwan, walang conversation. 

Subrang nami-mimiss ko siya that I always cry at night bago ako matulog. 

 Dahil sa subrang lungkot, umataki ang sakit ko. I was diagnosed ulit, heart disease. Alam ko naman na may sakit ako sa puso but I never thought na babalik ako sa hospital. Alam din naman ng boyfriend ko na may sakit ako-- but he never saw me laying on a hospital bed. Cool off pa rin kami at hindi niya alam ang nangyari. Hindi ko ipina-alam sa kanya, baka mag-alala lang siya't hindi siya makapag-focus. 

 "Mr. and Mrs. Alejo, kailangang maging handa kayo sa mga posibleng mangyari. Pangatlong atake na po niya ito. That's all we can say, I'm so sorry." I heard the doctor said to my parents. Kahit naman nasa labas sila ng kwarto ay naririnig ko ang naging usapan nila. 

Mas lalong sumikip ang puso ko. 

 Months passed, nasa hospital pa rin ako, dying like a vegetable. 

Then I got this message from him. 

 From: My baby BABE! 

Cum laude, bukas na graduation, please do come. Gusto kong ikaw magsabit sa akin ng medalya ko. Ang saya-saya ko! Sa wakas, magpapakasal na tayo. Thank you so much for staying and waiting, baby. I LOVE YOU! Please marry me. I smiled and cried at the same time. 

Buong araw kaming nagtawagan, nakikinig lang ako sa mga kwento niya. Hindi ko pinahalatang nanghihina na ang katawan ko. 

 Masaya ako, baby. 

Ang saya-saya ko. 

 You made it. 

 Kasabay nang pagtawag ng pangalan niya sa stage-- ay ang pag-annouce ng doctor ang---- 

 time of death ko.