SHORT SHOTS

Stone Cold Heart Being Healed By Someone

For 19 years of living here on Earth, my boyfriends are countless. It started when I was 13 years old, I had my first true love, I believe it was a true love. When that guy hurted me, I cursed myself not to have a serious relationsht, ever -- again.

So, it happened, every year, I tend to have not less than 20-30 boyfriends, take note, every year.

I already know the routine, texting for 3 days, meet up and then -- have sex, after how many days-- break up, then flirt again, cycle.

Whenever we broke up, I won't cry -- I'll just simply say "Okay, 'till next time. Kung kailangan mo ng bed playmate, just call me." Then walks away.

Totally a whore, huh?

My heart turned into stone after my first heart break. It was my fault, why did I invest a lot to that first relationsht?! Tsk! Damn!

I didn't believe in love anymore, love make no sense and just a totally waste of time. It doesn't exist, dumb for those who believe on it.

Now, I'm currently dating Kyo, nagulat pa siya bakit ang bilis ko siyang sinagot. I told him, we should personally meet at the nearest pent house, sagot ko na yung bayad.

Then, we met.

I was about to kiss him but he pushed me with a confused look.

"Don't play hard to get, Kyo. This is what a lot of you boys wanted, diba? Sex? Sige na gawin na natin para matapos na 'to, may gagawin pa ako," he stopped me when I was about to take off everything I was wearing.

This one made me confused.

"Ano bang ginagawa mo? Are you expecting me -- na sex lang ang habol ko sayo, ganun ba ka-baba tingin mo sa akin?"

"Agh! What's new? Bakit? Hindi ba? Lahat ng lalaki pumupunta lang sa akin dahil dun. At--- anong ini-expect mong gawin natin dito? Mag-ja-jack en poy? Tsk!"

"Ysha, mahal kita----" I cut him off with a laugh.

"Tsk! Naniniwala ka doon? Mahal-mahal, may ganun pa ba? Uso pa pala yun sa henerasyon natin? Kyo, praktikalan na-- you get inside a relationsht, do sex, then leave, mas madali yun, diba?"

"Ysha, ano ba?! Ano bang nangyari sayo't nagka-ganyan ka?" The moment he said that, all those memories I had flashes back inside my brain. Slapped me with those truths.

I felt embarassed, shameful and everything. Inayos ko sarili ko and fixed my dress as well.

"Huh? You acted like you're a whore and acted without humanity. You committed a crime within yourself. Kaya ka hindi nirerespeto ng iba kasi ikaw din wala kang respesto sa sarili mo!" I know he said was all true, but I slapped him, which shocked him, he shouldn't have said that dahil hindi na naman kailangan. Alam ko na yun at hindi na kailangang ipamukha sa akin.

But I am more shocked when he kissed and hugged me. I burst into tears--- doon na ang bigat-bigat sa kalooban. I felt ashamed, dirty-- lahat-lahat. I tried to push him, but he's hugging me too tight, impossible for him to let me go.

"Kyo, madumi ako--- let me go."

"Shhh, stay still--"

It felt like the rocks that are covering my heart shattered into pieces, I became naive, weak. I just rest my everything on his shoulder.

Ps. Find a man like Kyo. Tanggap ka kung ano ka at kung saan ka nanggaling. Tutulungan ka pang mag-heal. I love you, Kyo.. Hihihihi