SHORT SHOTS

Sinundan Si Crush Sa Cr #Ouch

Ps.Mapapa-aray talaga kayo dito... Talaga, sinabi ko sa inyo. Hmm!

Leaning on the wall while I was waiting for Nathan to finish his class. Everyone knows that I like Nathan, but that guy-- playing so hard to get. I can't take it anymore-- I'm gonna get him now, by hook and by crook.

'Campus gangster', that's what a lot of them call me, since the first year I came here. Yeah, share ko lang.

"Ui, nandito na naman yung manliligaw ni Nathan oh. Hi, Arie!" Nathan's friends, I look at Nathan and he just rolled his eyes on me and walks away. I followed him, and everyone is watching us-- making a scene, again.

"Yah! Nathaniel, you need to stop playing hard to get, I like you, okay-- should I remind you this all the time? Yah!" I shouted while following him around.

"Arie, tigilan mo na 'to."

"No! Just stop right there at mag-usap tayo." He thought I can't follow him inside a male's comfort room? He's wrong, I can follow him, everywhere.

"Ohohohoho, fcvk! Umiihi ako oh, get out, Arie!"

"Aish! Ba't ba pumasok ka dito, Arie?"

"Can't believe this!"

"Tumahimik kayo d'yan kung ayaw niyong balian ko kayo ng buto! Tsk!"

"Tara na, pre. Baka tutohanin niya."

"Tara- tara."

I shut the door closed and lock it, now-- solo ko na siya sa loob. Sumandal ako sa lababo.

"Yah! Lumabas ka na jan, tayo nalang dalawa dito." Nathan then came out from the second cubicle, he didn't look at me, instead, just stared at himself in the mirror.

"Ano ba yun, Arie? I told you I don't like you, diba? Mayaman ka nga, sikat, matalino, maganda peru--- masama, no match for me. Hindi kita type kaya--- tigilan mo na ako. Lagi ka nalang gumagawa ng eksina. Stop this, will you?"

"No matter how hard you pushed me away, I will not going to do what you wanted me to do. Hindi kita lalayuan. Bakit? Kontrolado ko ba puso ko, ha? Hindi! Why can't you just like me? Madali lang naman yun, pwede mo namang pag-aralan yun."

He didn't answered. I grabbed and pushed him against the wall, hindi kami makasintangkad but I locked him with my arms.

For the first time, he look at me. It was-- it was a different stare --- 

kaya napabitaw ako, nabitawan ko siya. But now-- he grabbed my shoulders and binaliktad niya ang posisyon namin. 

Now, he's pushing me against the wall and locking me with his arms.

"W-what?" I can't help but to stammered. He then lean closer kaya napa-iwas agad ako ng tingin. I was shocked of how I acted. I'm sure, Nathan would possibly kiss me, peru iniwas ko ang mukha ko. Am I being dumb?

"Ito yung gusto mo, 'di ba? Ba't parang ayaw mo na?" He said.

I look at him, "Are you insulting me?"

He didn't answered, instead nilapit na naman niya yung mukha niya sa mukha ko, but I pushed him and walk to open the door.

But he grabbed me again and did all he could para maglapit ang mukha namin. This is obviously an act of rape, because he is forcing me!

"Tama naaa, Nathan! Hindi ito-- ang gusto ko-- S-stop--" Nathan acted like he didn't hear a thing and continued what he was doing. I keep fighting him back, to the point na nasisira na yung mga damit namin at may mga kalmot ko na siya.

As a guy, he has all the strength to rape me. I just shouted and cried, that's when he stopped and pushed me away.

"Diba, yun naman ang gusto mo, Arie? Bakit umiiyak ka ngayon?" My tears are falling from my eyes all the way down to my cheeks. I gathered all my strength to stand up and slap him, slapped him really-really hard as I cried.

"Yes, I like you --- but hindi sa ganito, Nathaniel! Binabastos mo ang pagkababae ko. Akala mo gusto ko yun?"

"Kasalanan ko ba yun, Arie? You were the one who's forcing yourself sa taong wala namang gusto sa iyo! Pinaparamdam ko lang naman sayo yun by doing what I did to you earlier. Hindi mi pa rin ba naiinindihan, Arie? Para mo na rin akong ni-rape. Yan ang matagal mo nang ginagawa sa akin. But, you are being insensitive. Don't force yourself to me kasi nasasakal ako!"

I shouted and cried inside that room, I felt ashamed as all Nathan's words slapped me. I don't know of how did I got out of that situation, and how did I moved on after that incident.

I can't even look at Nathan after that, he said sorry-- but I didn't accepted it.

It's too much, the pain was too much.

Lesson learned: Wag ipagsisiksikan ang sarili sa taong walang gusto sayo. Nakakasakal yun, please lang. 'Pag sinabing ayaw, 'wag nang magpumilit. Aish!