Let Me In Your Heart Again | Hardzello♡

Chapter 69

'Ben, I don't want to break your heart at all. But I have to. Because he wants me to.'
That's when Ben feels a knife being stabbed through his heart. When Joe says this, Ben realizes it.
He has someone else.
He's moved on.
Ben was right before. He has been such a burden to Joe, and now it's just over. He doesn't know what caused it, but suddenly Ben feels the anger rising inside him. 'Oh so you already traded me in for someone else huh?! Well maybe you should fuck him instead of me then!' Angry, he gets up and walks out of the room.
The door closes with a loud bang.
That's when Joe breaks down, and the tears he's been holding back all this time come out. He screwed up. Ben hates him.

With red puffy eyes from crying, Joe returns to his hotel room. When he opens the door, he sees a white envelope on the doormat. Slightly surprised, he picks up the envelope and reads what it says.
He is startled when he recognizes Ben's handwriting.

"For Joe, my sweetest Blanket."

With a sigh he flops down on the sofa and opens the envelope with trembling hands.

To my Joey.
First of all, I would like to apologize for writing this letter. I know it's cheesy, but to be honest I'm hopeless right now. It hurts to see you like this.
I prefer to see you with that big smile on your face.
The smile you give me when you take care of me.
The smile you give me when you laugh at my bad jokes.
And know that I want to do everything I can to get that smile back.
Because I know it's my fault that beautiful smile has disappeared. I know I've been quite a burden for the past few weeks.
But from now on, the roles will be reversed. I'm gonna take care of you, like you took care of me.
Because I love you, sweetheart.
And I always will.
Because you are my past, my present, and my future. I can't wait for us to move in together. You are what I want Joey. I want to build a future with you. 
But I'm getting ahead of myself. For now it's all about you.
And bringing back that great smile. I love you.

Your Benny

With tears in his eyes and a tiny smile on his face, Joe puts the letter on the table. Why did he have to choose precisely those words? Why did he ruin everything?And why does Corey have to keep ruining their lives?
Like a sobbing mess he picks up his phone, and search for the chat with Ben. He doesn't even know where Ben is and whether he's safe.

(08:44 Am) Joe: I read your letter. Please come back to the hotel? Then I will explain everything. Of course I don't have someone else. I love you Benny. Really, I do.

(09:35 Am) Joe: Ben please just let me know if you're safe. I'm really worried.

(09:50 Am) Ben: I'm safe, don't worry. I was with Gwil, but I'm coming now. I lashed out to you. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. So let's talk about it.

Joe feels his heart leap for joy. Ben gives him another chance. He can still make it up to him. 

▲▼▲▼▲

Not much later there's a knock on his door.
When he opens the door he sees Ben, with puffy red eyes.
All Joe wants to do right now is hug him, but instead he says nothing and lets Ben in. 
The two sit down on the couch, the same couch where things went wrong earlier that morning.
Joe feels his heart pounding in his throat and the adrenaline rushing through his body. He takes a deep breath and prepares to explain what's going on. 'So, I think I owe you an explanation.'
Ben nods slowly.
'The reason I've been so distant since the party is because of a message I got before we left.' Joe feels his voice tremble and his heart pounding. While trying to hold back his tears, he searches for the message to show Ben. He hands his phone to Ben but doesn't look at him. He sheds a tear and stares at his hands.
It remains silent.
Why doesn't Ben say anything? 
When Joe looks up, he sees Ben looking at him with tears in his eyes.
'Joey...... I'm so sorry.' The blond boy says softly. 
Joe bites his lip. 'It- it was my only option. I had to do it for our safety. I can't see you get hurt again. Last time there was nothing I could do for you and I hated that. But now I could. I could keep you safe. And I- I....' Joe rattles in one go, nearly choking on his tears.
Ben slides closer to Joe and pulls the boy onto his lap.
Joe immediately puts his arms around Ben's chest and hugs him.
Silent tears are falling by both boys.
'You can't do anything about this. This is my fault.' Ben whispers during the hug. 'I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you. It's just that I told myself all night long that you didn't love me anymore. And when you talked about "him", I thought you meant someone else than Corey. I thought I lost you.' 

Joe leans forward and leans his forehead against Ben's. He closes his eyes, and so does Ben.
'I can't believe he keeps ruining our lives.' Ben whispers.
Joe nods. 'I know right. That asshole owes me a lot of hours of sleep.'
Ben chuckles softly. 'You were otherwise fast asleep when I came to see you after you left the party.'
Joe opens his eyes and looks the other way blushing. 'Yeah, I wasn't really sleeping.' He says softly.
Ben now also opens his eyes and looks at him in surprise.
'I was on the couch, panicking because I didn't know what to do. And when I heard you come in I pretended to be asleep. I was shaking because I had to hold back my tears. But when I suddenly felt a blanket over me, I calmed down. So thank you. For being there despite my behavior.' Joe says softly.
Ben smiles and takes Joe's hand. 'Always love, you know that.' He says.
Joe nods, and locks their lips together. When they break the passionate kiss to breathe, Joe takes Ben's hand. 'Benny? Please never say again that you're a burden. You're not. Ever. You're cute when you need me to take care of you. And I don't mind doing it at all.' He says.
Ben smiles widely and gives the ginger another kiss.'How about we put on our pajamas, snuggle in bed, and catch up on some sleep?' He suggests
Joe smiles and nods. 'That sounds great.' He says. But he doesn't make any effort to get up and walk to the bedroom. Suddenly, he feels exhausted. But he is happy that he and Ben made up. He feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder. 
When Ben sees the effort the ginger has to make not to fall asleep right here and now, he smiles. He carefully puts his arms around Joe, and lifts him up.
Joe immediately presses his face against Ben's chest. God he missed being close to Ben the past few days.

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Hi guys! I'm back with another upload whoop whoop.

I think I'll upload some more chapters than I normally do this week.
Because this book is taking so loooong to upload.

In the meantime, I've finished writing the other fanfiction I was working on already.
I'm now writing some one shots here and there.
Would you be up for reading those, you think?