Let Me In Your Heart Again | Hardzello♡

Chapter 90

'Please take off your bandages for me. I wanna take a look at your hand.' Joe says without a legible expression on his face.
Ben freezes for a moment, but quickly recovers himself again. 'W-why?' He asks, trying to sound as normal as possible.
Joe gets up from the couch and walks over to Ben. 'Ben, just let me see your hand.' He hates it to behave like this, but he knows it is for Ben's best.
'Joey, I don't have time for this.' Ben turns around, but gets stopped by Joe taking his hand.
The bandaged one.
Ben flinches and hisses.
Joe swallows. 'Ben, this doesn't seem like some accidental cut. Did you...-' He doesn't even dare to finish this sentence.
Ben immediately shakes his head. 'No, no I didn't Joey. Really, I promise. I would never cut myself on purpose again. Do you believe me?' He takes Joe's hand and looks him straight in the eye.
But Joe looks away. 'Well frankly, I don't Ben. I didn't meant to, but I read the messages your aunt sent you. Why didn't you tell me that she had been messaging you for the past week? The ginger has to make an effort to keep the tears away.
Ben's eyes widen. He wants to say so much right now, but the right words just won't come. His mind is racing, and his heart starts to beat faster.
He sees how hurt Joe is. 'I- I'm. I'm not-' Ben stutters. He feels his knees getting weak.
When Joe notices how pale Ben gets, he quickly gets up.
Ben gets really dizzy, and feels that he's slowly slipping out of consciousness. After stammering a few more words, the blond boy collapses.
Luckily, Joe is just in time to catch the boy before he would have hit his head. 'Ben! No no no! Come on baby, wake up. Open your eyes for me.' Joe says with tears in his eyes.

After a few minutes, Ben is still unconscious.
'Benny, come on. Just open your eyes for me, please? I need you. We'll get through this together, I promise. Just open your eyes sweetheart.' Joe says to the boy in his arms.
Suddenly, a loud groan is heard from Ben, and he opens his eyes slowly.
Joe lets out a sigh of relief. 'Thank god you're okay.' He gives the boy a kiss on the head.
Ben gives him a glassy look, and just stares straight ahead. He tries to stand up, but immediately sits down again when he becomes dizzy.
'Let me support you. Just lean on me baby.' Joe says before putting his arm around Ben to support him.
Together they sit down on the couch.
'You should get some sugar into your system. I'll get you some candy or soda or something. I'll be right back.' Joe says, still a shaking from what just happened.
Ben just nods at that.
When Joe comes back, he sits down next to Ben, and pulls him close against his chest. He can feel how tensed up the younger boy is. The ginger hands Ben a glass of Cola. 'Here, take this. It will help against the dizziness.'
Ben nods again, taking the glass. After that, it stays quiet for a while.
The blond is shivering all over, and bites his lip to keep himself from crying. Carefully, he takes some small sips from the Cola.
'Ben, please never scare me again like this. I don't like seeing you faint, you know. Now talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk.' Joe really hopes Ben will accept his help.
But Ben still can't manage to say a word. Some whimpers escape his mouth every now and then as he's sniffling softly to keep the sobbing away.
Joe turns Ben head with his index finger to get his attention. 'Okay honey, I only need you to nod or shake your head, that's all. You hear me?'
Ben nods briefly, and closes his eyes for a moment.
'Can I read the full message your aunt sent you, or aren't you comfortable with that?' Joe asks.
A tear finds his way down over Ben's cheek. 'Y-you can r-read it.' He chokes out.

When Joe is done reading the messages, Ben has calmed down a bit. 'Your aunt has to stop threatening you.' Joe says as he clenches his fist. He can feel the anger boiling inside him.
Ben doesn't say anything, and just stares straight ahead.
'But now you really have to talk to me. Because this is serious. You bottled up your feelings instead of telling me. I want you to know I'm always here for you. Nothing is more important than you.' Joe says, taking Ben's hands in his own.
Ben swallows and nods. He places his head on Joe's chest. He takes a deep breath, knowing that he really has to talk to Joe. 'I- I didn't mean to fall back into that terrible habit. It actually started with me accidentally cutting myself. It didn't bleed that much. But then that message came in. And.... I don't know, I thought it wouldn't hurt anyone if I gave myself a small cut with the knife. But it didn't stop with a small cut. My hand kept bleeding and I felt.... like I had to hide it from you.' He closes his eyes to avoid Joe's gaze. 
'I'm so sorry, I should have noticed. If I would've been there for you, it wouldn't have come this far. Apparently I didn't a good job in showing you can trust me. I'm sorry.' Joe says. He knows that Ben doesn't want him to feel guilty about this. And that's exactly why he is acting like he does feel guilty.
Ben looks up to meet Joe's eyes. 'You know that's not true Joey. Please don't beat yourself up for something stupid I did. I won't do it again. Please? Anything for you.' He says before hugging Joe.
Joe smiles. He can see in the younger boy's green eyes that he really means it.
Ben buries his face into the fabric of Joe's sweater. 'I feel like such a freak. I don't even know why I did it.' He mumbles with tears in his eyes.
Joe shakes his head. 'You're not a freak. You're scarred, that's something else.' He says. 'An besides, I would still love you if you were a freak.' He starts giving the younger boy kisses all over his face, finally earning a real smile from Ben.