Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 75: Hayden

Sat. 3/14/09 • 6:19 P.M. EST

It's times like these when I really wish I had another opportunity to tell my family about Russell. These past few nights coming back to this hotel suite to be alone has really made me miss his company. I'd love to have been able to bring him out here with me like I used to with Ty.

I throw myself back on the hotel bed and pull my phone out to text him for quite possibly the thousandth time today. I'm distracted when I see a message from Harper though, and open it with my brows furrowed in confusion once I read it.

Harper: Hey how're things?
You're late? Why not tell me?
I'm still your favorite big sis,
you know!

What the hell is that about? Am I late, like... for my period?

I quickly think of any reason she may be texting me asking about that and easily settle on the fact that I've lost some of the weight I gained in the hospital. I'm sure the Golds are concerned I'm relapsing with my eating disorder, but it's not nearly as bad as it would have to be for me to lose my period again!

I rush to respond to her message, easily brushing it off so I can text Russ like intended.

Hayden: Wtf lol Random...
Hayden: I'm okay, no worries.
Stressed, if anything. You'll
always be my favorite big
sis, stupid 😋

I know I should say more- start casual conversation, if anything! Harper and I haven't been talking as much as we used to, and I'm sure she'd love it if we did.

I would too! I miss her, of course.

I just can't afford the conversations I know we'd have. My eating disorder? Work? The girl I have secretly hiding out in a corner of my massive house? She'd just be trying to siphon information from me to make sure I'm "staying on the right track."

I don't need that right now.

I'd rather text Russell; He's the only person I know won't add any more bullshit to my plate. It's nothing personal to Harper! I've just had a rough day, is all.

These past few days have been exceptionally stressful for me as far as work goes. It's almost been three straight weeks of nothing but press tours, interviews, and studio time to clean up some of the songs for my first solo album. I don't usually mind the heavy workload so much, but it's definitely been overwhelming having to leave Evelyn alone at my house for such extended periods of time. She's been acting so strange lately I can't help but feel uneasy about it.

I just want to get home... spend time with my baby... spend time with Russell... finally relax a little...

Maybe I can even work on getting Evelyn a place to go? Maybe I can finally introduce Russ to the family, and come clean about Ty?

Even the thought of all of it makes my nerves run wild. Just two more days, I silently remind myself as I pull up my current thread with Russell. Just two more days, and I'll have a break from all of this to sort the rest of my life out...

Hayden: Finally have some
downtime! You busy?

I don't expect him to respond right away because the last number he texted me from was his "work phone," so that's the one I texted him back at. Almost as soon as I send the message though, Russ' text bubble dances at the bottom of our thread.

I happily fall right into conversation with him, the anxious feeling that has settled over my body quickly disappearing.

Russell: Busy waiting for
you to come back to me
Russell: How was your day?
Sounds like it was pretty
jam packed

The familiar warm feeling he always brings to my chest returns the moment I read his messages. I had a week or so where I was kind of iffy about him because of the whole mugging situation that happened, but after talking to him a bit more I was able to sort it out a little better in my mind.

It was an unfortunate event, at an unfortunate time... I can't be upset with him over it. I should just be thankful he's alive!

I quickly type him back.

Hayden: Yepp, it's been
rough. I can't wait to have a
little time off. A little vacay.
Just 2 more days!

Russell: Lol home is a
vacation? We should go on
a real one... runaway for a
little while
Russell: I know a really nice
place in Palm Springs,
actually

I read his messages with a giggle.

A vacation? That's funny.

I have a hard enough time leaving my house as is; There is no way I could do it just for shits and giggles! Especially without an explanation for my family!

He knows that!

Hayden: Lol I wish. What
would I explain to the fam?
I haven't told them about the
busted up bad boy I'm dating
yet, so... 😘
Hayden: I've only been to
Palm Springs a couple times.
Loved it every single time!

Russ' chat bubble disappears and reappears numerous times before his response comes through on my screen.

I hope I'm not upsetting him by, once again, declining his offer to "get away from the bullshit." I would love to runaway with him, even if just for a little while! Shit, had I met him before all of this Hayden stuff happened to me, I might've runaway with him for good! Gone off the map like he's always talking about!

I just... can't now. Hayden is my new life, and I'd have nothing if I gave that up; McKaiden would have nothing!

Russell: Lol hey! These gashes
are clearing up pretty well,
thank you!!
Russell: Seriously though...
You should really think about
it. Tell em you're going out with
friends. You're allowed to have
those, right? 🤔

I laugh out loud reading his message.

Russ and I have been speaking more and more about the relationship I have with Mama Gold and how, based off her current track record with the people in her daughter's lives, there's a strong chance she'll hate him for a while.

"Don't worry! She hates everybody!" I told him between the laughter that filled my lungs. "My sisters and I would only know and associate with eachother if she had things her way! No friends, no lovers, shit- she would manage all three of us alone if it wasn't such a daunting task!"

Hayden: Lol you think you're funny, don't you? Yes I can have friends!
Hayden: What about the baby?

I expect him to tell me to leave the baby with Evelyn. That's usually the route I try to take when "sneaking out" because I don't have to depend on anybody else to keep the secret for me.

I'm surprised when I see his response though.

Russell: Baby daddy? Isn't that
what he's for? 😋
Russell: We can figure it out,
beautiful... I want to get you
away from everything... you
deserve a break worthy of a
queen
Russell: Please... think about
it?

How am I supposed to say no to that?

I don't know how I would swing it with my family, but I have to at least try, right? A vacation would be nice after this crazy work schedule I just had. And with Russ?

Even better.

The smile I wear across my face any time I'm talking to Russ grows wider as I send a response. I wish I could see his too.

Hayden: Okay, I'll think
about it ❤ I'll see what
I can do!